There I was…on the bathroom floor…desperate for my son’s heart to change.
We had just had 20 minutes that made me want to clench my fists and jump up and down and throw an honest-to-goodness 2 year old tantrum. I have been praying more than ever lately for my children to have wisdom (more on that one day soon), because the amount of foolishness that has been prevalent in our home by my dear 3 year old has been…what can I say…MIND-BOGGLING.
Tonight, after pulling one of his routine foolish antics, I knelt down in front of him as he attempted to put his poops in the potty. Picture it: me, kneeling on our, ahem, “well-loved,” bathroom floor while my strained-face pooping 3 year old looked at me with red eyes. “Buddy…” I pleaded, tears in my own eyes. “Buddy…why, oh WHY, are you being so foolish?”
We’ve just been over this particular scenario 41 billion trillion quadrillion times, and sometimes–I will be honest–I resort to this…kneeling on a bathroom floor and pleading with my pooping child. I’m still not sure if that’s better or worse than throwing a tantrum. I’ve been in Proverbs a lot lately, and you just can’t read Proverbs without begging God to save you and your children from the folly of foolishness. You can’t read Proverbs without begging God to soften your heart and your children’s hearts to love wisdom and not despise it. You can’t read Proverbs without begging God to keep you and your children from returning to your/their own vomit. Isn’t it true?
We had just come from our church’s little community group, where at some point we ended up discussing how when children are asked why their parents love them, they usually respond with works-based answers, such as, “Because I’m good at art” or “Because I obey” or things of the sort. This, of course, is so opposed to the heart of the gospel, which relieves us from the burden of works-based righteousness. We are made righteous because of who Jesus is, and nothing of ourselves. I had Ephesians 2:8 (“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this not from ourselves–it is a gift from God”) memorized as a child, but I did not truly understand the essence of this verse and the gospel until I was an adult. And it is still a battle each day to remember and understand and believe.
Oh, how I long for my kids to know God’s love for them.
Oh, oh, oh…oh, I long for my kids to understand that God’s love is unconditional. That we love because He first loved us. That we cannot attain His favor or love by our works, but only because of Jesus.
I wrestle with this truth and understanding in my own life, but I fight hard each day to understand it because a.) my soul needs to understand it and b.) I can’t teach them what I don’t understand.
Daily, by faith, one of the ways I try to teach them the little I do understand of His love is by showing them and telling them constantly how much I love them. Simply because they are mine. Simply because they are made in God’s image. Simply because they are eternal beings that matter. To me, and to God. Oh, how I long for my kids to understand love.
So…back to community group (or “moony toop” as Selah calls it). As soon as I heard that question being discussed, I made a mental note to talk to the kids about works-based righteousness. Though we talk about the gospel frequently, I wanted to start directly teaching them about unconditional love. Just then, Brian leaned over and whispered, “We’ve got to ask our kids that question when we get home.” We were thinking the same thing. We had never thought to ask them such a question and we really had no idea how they would answer.
Which brings us…home. Remember where we started? Me, kneeling on the bathroom floor?
I put Selah to bed with such an anxiety in my spirit over the state of my son’s foolish heart. I was talking to Selah, telling her the gospel once again and reminding her why we can forgive our friend who had hurt her that night–only because of Jesus. Only because Jesus forgave us first. Only because Jesus forgave us while we were still sinners. And all in the back of my head I’m begging the Lord to change my son’s heart to be one who loves wisdom and not folly.
I shut Selah’s door, and wanted to cry. But then I heard Brian’s voice…
“Mommy…? Will you come here for a minute? Elliott has something to tell you…”
I braced myself for the somewhat typical half-hearted apology from Elliott, and begged the Lord to give me the grace to truly forgive him and truly have hope for his soul. But instead…I got this:
“My son, tell Mommy why Daddy and Mommy love you.”
Elliott responded with a big smile on his face, “Because Jesus said, ‘Love one another.’ John 15:12.”
I was a little confused…I figured Brian must have done a little lesson on the question we had wanted to ask him, in light of his disobedience. I thought it was sort of an odd way to teach Elliott the “answer” to that question, but I was just trying to go with it…until Brian relayed the whole story to me, with our sweet Elliott in his arms.
“I asked Elliott why Mommy and Daddy love him, and he told me, ‘Because God tells us to.’ I asked if he could think of anything else…any other reasons why we love him. And he responded by saying, ‘Jesus said, ‘Love one another.’ John 15:12′.”
Mind boggled to mind BLOWN.
I broke down into a puddle of tears. I think Elliott’s starting to recognize my “good crying” (ha!) because he just beamed ear-to-ear with pride as my lip quivered and the tears flowed down my face.
Our 3 year old son responded to the question of why we love him with a Scripture. With a Scripture about the fact that our love comes from God. And, for full disclosure here: I haven’t taught him that Scripture. It was a verse he memorized at preschool.
Oh, there is still, obviously, so much to learn and so much to teach. But the fact that our son has grasped the idea that we love him because of God is the nugget of grace and hope I needed tonight.
Fellow mamas, let’s teach the Word diligently and faithfully in our homes, pray like crazy as we do, and trust that God will plant the truths in our children’s souls.
Lord, I’m praying for my friends tonight, and I’m praying especially for all the mommies out there who, like me, struggle to understand that your love is unconditional. Teach us, Lord. Show us, Lord. Help us understand the gospel and give us the grace and perseverance to teach our children the gospel. Lord, help us understand your love so that we can love our kids unconditionally. Lord, strengthen our weary souls, as we love and pour out and teach and train tirelessly and endlessly…and teach us how to do it in your strength. Teach us how to pray. Amen.
I’ll never forget the moment that, after weeks of battling the same problem with Elliott, I had a massive revelation.
“The Scripture doesn’t say that my parenting techniques will not come back void…it says, ‘The WORD will not come back void.’” (Isaiah 55:11)
I don’t know how I got two years into the whole parenting thing without ever having that thought occur to me, but it was profound for me, and surely an act of mercy from the Lord.
Elliott had (for the most part) been an incredibly kind and loving big brother towards Selah her entire 7 months of existence. But somehow, right around after he turned 2, he began experimenting with some behaviors towards her; as in, “What will happen if I kick her in the head as hard possible?”
Clearly, clearly…NOT OKAY.
She had JUST started pulling up onto furniture, and she loved being close by Elliott. So many times when he was sitting in his chair eating a meal or a snack, she would crawl over, pull herself up onto the chair, and he would kick her little head until she fell over.
We were at a loss. We had tried everything, and he wasn’t changing. If you know me, you know I have quite a bit of patience towards my kids regarding character development issues…I just recognize that many, many things will probably take YEARS for them to have true heart-change in. But, BUT…this particular issue needed to change IMMEDIATELY.
But, I’m not going to talk about exactly how he changed, because my point is something far more important: that THE WORD OF GOD WILL NOT COME BACK VOID.
Another “incident” had just occurred and I remember kneeling on the ground, holding Elliott gently by his shoulders and pleading with him to stop, using words like “being nice” and “that’s not nice” and etc., etc. I had just taught the Kids Church lesson a few hours earlier to Elliott and all of his little buddies and it was about the good Samaritan. I suddenly paused and that’s when the revelation hit me: Why am I using such “powerless” words, when I could be speaking the very words of Life, that are promised to return in power.
EVERYTHING changed about my speech that day. No longer do I tell Elliott to do things “because I said so” or “because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do”…but I am teaching him to act according to God’s Word. It is THE ONLY thing that will not return void.
This is our heart for our children:
9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing [Him], being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed [us] into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. 19 For it pleased [the Father that] in Him all the fullness should dwell, 20 and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross. … 27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. 29 To this [end] I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily. [Col 1:9-20, 27-29 NKJV]
Yes, we MUST teach our children that ALL things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. Our children must form their worldviews around this Truth. And so they MUST know the Scriptures, and how THE SCRIPTURES should shape their thinking and their actions. This is a great endeavor, obviously, that will take a lifetime to begin to teach, but I am amazed at how much it has pressed ME to know the Word more, because I need to have a specific answer on my tongue! I need to be able to teach them what God says about the generous person when they are confronted with sharing issues. I need to be able to recite by memory what God says will happen when they obey their parents when we have a moment (or a hundred) of defiance in a day. I need to be able to tell them what Jesus said about love when they are not treating each other lovingly. I must know what He says, so they will know what He says. There was a season where I taught the kids a Proverb a day and it was so helpful for ME. I read one chapter a day, picked one verse from that chapter, wrote it up on the white board in our playroom, and taught it to them first thing in the morning. It’s amazing how many Proverbs are the solution to almost every conflict between the kids :).
I was struck by the simplicity of Romans 12 as a concise “handbook” for (some of) the ways of the Lord a few months ago, and decided I wanted to memorize a chunk of the chapter with the kids over the Summer. My goal was 13 verses, and we got through 6, which I was very pleased with :). We started out with Psalm 128:1 (“Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways.”), and I prefaced the whole series by talking about how we must understand that God says we will be blessed when we walk in His ways, and it is of utmost importance that we regard Him with utter holiness, with complete resolve that He is THE WAY. Then we went on to learn about what some of those “ways” are by memorizing Romans 12: 9-13.
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. [Rom 12:9-13 NIV]
It was SO HELPFUL in my daily parenting, because not only did I have specific (powerful!) language (that won’t return void!!!!) to use with the kids during conflicts and disrespect, but because it helped form my prayers. Many times throughout the day, my prayer is, “Oh, dear, Lord. Have mercy.” (Anyone else have prayers like that during the day??) But when I am focusing on a specific Scripture a day or a week, my prayers are filled with more vision and more faith. “Oh, Lord…please turn Elliott’s heart to TRULY honor his sister above himself.”
Since we’ve entered the “3s,” whining has been one of our biggest battles. I will admit, when I am SO worn out from the constant whining, I usually just look at Elliott with pleading eyes and beg, “You’re killing me. You’ve GOT to stop whining!!” Hmm, as you can imagine, not the most effective or mature parenting technique :). So I was SUPER excited when we hit the verse that tells us we are never to be lacking in zeal. Finally, I had biblical language to tackle this whining monster. I did lots of role plays with him and we acted out what it looks like to be lacking in zeal and what it looks like to keep our spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Oh, my, did it help, thanks to the grace of God!!! The monster FOR SURE still rears its ugly head daily, but Elliott’s taken a lot of ground.
So, my mama friends–I wanted to share the Scripture verse cards that I made in case you’d like to use them! (Why reinvent the wheel?!) We worked on one verse a week, and usually by the end of the day or at least by day 2, Elliott had each one memorized. Selah (at almost 2) runs around singing, “Walk in His ways!!” which I LOVE. Yes, my dear, that’s exactly right…let’s be devoted to walking in His ways.
Click on the picture below to download all 6 verse cards!
Verse Cards
Want to do this with your kids but not a “natural” teacher?
YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I promise!!! Here are 6 simple tips for you:
1. Read the Word and allow the Lord to STIR YOU!
If you are excited, they will be excited, too. If you know me, you know this comes awfully naturally to me–you KNOW that if something has changed my life, I will tell you about it so it can change yours, too!! 🙂 More often than not, I have taught my kids a new verse just because I was reading the Word and was so stirred I couldn’t help but share it with them. Even if we don’t do an entire “lesson” on the verse and memorize it, I trust that it’s being deposited in their hearts. When this happens, I call them over and say, “Kids! Come listen to this!!!! Listen to what God promises us!!!” So, this may go without saying, but when God has stirred YOUR heart with His Word, that is the first step for your childrens’ hearts to be stirred as well. When they see YOU moved by His word, it shows them practically what a changed heart really looks like.
2. Call your kids over to come sit down and learn the Word of God!
If you have carpet squares or one piece of paper for each child or a chair for each child or SOMETHING the kids can sit on so they know their job is to sit and listen, that is VERY helpful.
3. Songs, Visuals, examples and role-plays are helpful!
I always try to have my bible with me so they can really SEE that everything I’m teaching them comes straight from the Word of God. (I remember getting to college and re-reading the bible with new eyes, and being SHOCKED at how much Scripture I knew from songs, liturgy, etc, that I hadn’t realized was SCRIPTURE! Isn’t that crazy?! But it held a WEIGHTINESS to it once I found out it was THE LIVING WORD OF GOD versus just some lyrics to a song that a writer scribbled on a piece of paper. It is SO important to me that my kids understand that the things I say and the rules I give them come from GOD, not just my own good ideas.) Even when I have a verse card printed out, I read the verse out of my bible first. Then, I show them the verse card and talk through each word/phrase with them, pointing out how the pictures show the meaning of the words. We then hang it up where they can see it.
Our six verses, all in a row.
My kids are YOUNG (almost 2 and 3) so I need to use lots of visual and acting to help them understand the meaning of each verse. Obviously, the older your kids are, the less visuals and acting you will need, but these things are still VERY useful for teaching ALL kids how to really APPLY Scripture to their daily lives.
Here’s an example:
Verse: Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
What I said: Okay, kids, listen to what God says: “Love must be SINCERE.” Can you say “sincere?” Sincere means really, really, really MEANING what you do. So if you ask me to play with the toy I’m playing with and I say, “Fine! Take it!! Hmmph!!!” and throw the toy at you, I did the “right” thing, but I wasn’t loving you like God defines love. My love wasn’t sincere. Now if you ask me to play with a toy I’m playing with, and my heart really DOES want you to have the joy of playing with it, too, then my heart sincerely wants to love you. In that case, I could say, “Oh! You want to play with it, too?! Sure!!” That means my love was sincere, and that means I am walking in God’s ways.
Since my kids are so little, I keep the “lesson” to less than 5 minutes long. I had to break the initial teaching of this verse up into two days since the idea of “sincere love” was complex enough to fill 5 minutes. The next day we talked a lot about what evil is, and what it means to run away from it (lots of funny role plays!!) and what it means to CLING to something that is good.
SING!!!! How much easier is it to remember something when it’s put to music??!! I hope you know about Seeds Family Worship…they are AWESOME. They sing Scriptures! We have listened to “The Good Song” probably hundreds of times: “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways!” The kids and I often worship together, singing at the top of our lungs, dancing around our living room, sometimes with instruments in hands. I love worshiping the Lord with my kids!!!
4. Teach it on day 1 (and sometimes day 2) and then use the language of the Scripture as often as you can throughout the week (and forever!).
I only had the kids “sit” for a “lesson” on the days that I initially introduced the verse and its meaning, which took 1-2 days. Then, the “teaching” of it was much more “organic” throughout the week in that I would point out how that Scripture occurred throughout our day. Anytime the kids do something according to the Scripture I am sure to point it out to them. “Oh, Elliott! The way you just shared that toy with Selah was truly sincere love! Thank you for loving her so sincerely! That blesses God and it blesses me!! How does your heart feel when you see how blessed Selah is?! Isn’t it awesome to walk in God’s ways??!!”
Or, if they were having a hard time, I would use the same biblical language with them. The MOST often used one this Summer has been: “Oh, buddy…are you devoted to Selah in love right now? Are you making sure that you are honoring her above yourself?”
It’s SO HELPFUL for them to see how the Word is in all things and before all things…they need to understand how Scripture is RELEVANT to their daily lives and actions, and they need to SEE how to apply it. Like I said earlier, this will take a lifetime, so we’d best start early!! 🙂
We would say our verses together every time we were driving or sometimes when we were sitting and playing and we would always tell Daddy when he got home from work what our verse of the week was. This is actually Elliott’s favorite verse and I catch him ALL the time saying, “Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.” YES!!
5. Always, in everything, teach them about Christ
There is no sense in teaching any of these things without also teaching the Gospel. Our children must understand that it is only by the grace of God that we can escape sin, thanks to Jesus Christ. We have worked hard on this with Elliott. I’ll never forget one day that I looked at him and said, “Elliott, you are the only one who can choose to obey. You’ve got to do this. You’ve got to choose to obey!” And before I had barely finished talking, he interrupted me and said, “NO!! Jesus and GOD help me obey!!” I remember taking a deep breath, realizing that my frustration had gotten the better of me, and told him, “Buddy, you are right. Let’s pray together. We BOTH need the Lord’s help to obey Him.”
6. PRAY, never-ceasingly
The moment I knew I had to start training, teaching, and disciplining Elliott (long before he was 1), I have been faithfully praying for HIS HEART to turn towards obedience to God. The LAST THING IN THE WORLD we want are children who “do what the bible says” but do not really LOVE God. Scripture is so clear: When we love God, we obey His commands. Children are so tricky because we must teach them to obey (“…train your child in the way he should go…”) long before they have a sincere love for God. But I am faithful to pray for their hearts to turn EVERY time I teach, train or discipline. Because it’s not ME that’s going to turn their hearts to love the Lord; it’s the Holy Spirit. So, I would exhort you: Never teach without praying. Always pray as you teach.
Remember the verse from above: For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing [Him], being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God…
KEEP ON KEEPING ON, MAMAS!!!! May the Lord fill you with STRENGTH!!! And FAITH!!!! May YOU, by the grace of God, never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor as you serve your children and in doing so, are serving the Lord!!!!!
Those of you who know me, know that I love to throw a good party. I used to be an avid crafter until, well, life got WAYYYYYY too busy for that. I still have managed to make time to throw my kids’ birthday parties and a shower here and there, but otherwise, my crafty side has remained dormant.
That is, until, everything changed on October 5, 2013.
We threw a little birthday party for our tweet one year old, and though I started out by saying, “I’m going to keep it SIMPLE!” I just got swept up in the adorable theme and couldn’t help myself. My mind was flooded with birds and puns and ideas to bless our daughter, and they all came into existence. We invited just a few close friends and family, and my dear friend Kari was one of the guests. I’ll never forget the moment her eyes had just scanned ALLLLL of the birds around our house, each intricate tail, beak, wing, and body cut by hand and she said to me, “You didn’t cut these all out by hand, did you?”
“Yes, I did!” I said proudly.
“Ummm, haven’t you heard of a Cricut?” she asked me, stunned.
“The insect?”
A slight smile slowly spread across her face as she stared at me in disbelief…”No…..the machine that would have cut all of this out FOR YOU…”
I was TRULY baffled. For years, I have made every one of my decorations by hand…in that one moment, my memory flashed back to Elliott’s ball birthday party where I cut out EVERY SINGLE BALL by hand and his Construction themed birthday party where I cut out EVERY SINGLE CUPCAKE CONSTRUCTION SIGN by hand and then I stared at each bird, each cupcake topper, each number that marked the different years of Selah’s birthday banner and I thought about every minute that it took for me to cut each one out by hand…and I almost cried.
“It does WHAT…?!”
She tried to explain to me the concept of this “electronic cutting machine” but I was so overwhelmed at the idea of it–and all of the hours I had spent that didn’t need to spent if she was, indeed, telling me the truth. It was as if I had been making the trek every day to the river to wash my family’s clothes with rocks in hand and somebody told me there was a MACHINE that would do that all for me. Brian jumped off of the couch and began to research. (One of the many reasons I LOVE this husband of mine!) Within just a few minutes he had found a different version of the Cricut–an electronic cutting machine called a Silhouette. It got far better reviews than the Cricut and for several reasons it seemed like a much better option. We sat there while guests continued to mingle at our house and we watched the promo video for it. I’m sure there was a puddle of drool on the floor beneath me because I couldn’t BELIEVE the things this machine said it could do. Where had it been all my life??!! I was in love.
I spent the next few hours, days, weeks and months convincing Brian that this would be the BEST investment we could POSSIBLY make for our future and our household. 🙂 After a few good nudges come December, I opened up my very special gift on Christmas day.
My three favorite things about this photo: 1. Elliott’s bedhead. 2. The three of us in our Christmas jammies. 3. The CLEAR affection that my daughter already has for crafting!! 😉
There she was…in all of her beauty. She was gorgeous, and terrifying. I knew I had to jump in right away and figure out how to use her quickly before she sat dormant too long.
Brian and I opened the box together, read all the instructions, and watched the video. I designed a simple card and made my first cut.
And sliced right through the cutting mat. (Palm to forehead.)
Good thing it came with two :/. Needless to say, it has been a huge learning curve for me. I have moved from designing a few very simple cards to some fun signs for Elliott’s 3rd birthday to making banners and wedding presents to some meaningful gifts for friends to…my latest projects…home decor.
I stumbled upon a facebook group that is like a Silhouette support group. Everyone who is a part of it is AWESOME–everyone is so kind and helpful and it’s SO MUCH FUN to see people’s creativity and to share a bit of mine. Each month, the group hosts a “challenge” with a theme, and I finally decided to be brave and jump in this month. 🙂
This month’s theme is HOME DECOR. I had just finished this project, and so I figured this would be a fun way to share it!
Several months ago, I came across this scripture while reading the Word one morning. It resonated so deeply with me, because this is SO who Brian and I long for our children to be!
“May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.” Psalm 144:12
YES. I have mentioned it briefly before, but I LONG for my son to not be quenched in his “boyness” but to FLOURISH in his youth. Yes, I want to raise him to be respectful and kind and thoughtful, but all the while being brave and mighty and BOY. Our society has a tendency to want little boys to act and behave like little girls, and then years later when they become a man and husband, their wives are upset because they are passive. I won’t go off on a tangent now 🙂 but this is so our heart’s cry: that our son would FLOURISH in his youth. We have gone to great lengths to nurture our son; his heart is SO sensitive and soft that, like a tender shoot of a young plant, he takes a LOT of nurturing. We have tried so hard, resting on the grace of God, to know his heart and shepherd it, while at the same time encouraging him to be brave and bold. Oh, Lord, may he flourish in his youth!!
And, our sweet Selah. THIS GIRL. I tell you what, she is STRONG–strength like a pillar. I LOVE this description of a girl: a gracefulpillar. YES. We want our daughter to be filled with grace, both in her speech and her actions. And at the same time, we want to teach her to STAND FIRM. To be unwavering and unmoved by the ways of this world, but firm in the knowledge of our God. A graceful pillar. Like the son who flourishes like a well-nurtured plant, we are striving to teach her what it looks like to be such a graceful pillar; she must be shown how to stand firm and not tossed by the waves. Like a pillar carved to beautify a palace, so we are teaching our girl. We are praying for her heart that she would be like the fragrance of Christ and that just by looking at her, people would pause to stop and think about how great our God is! (Selah!)
All that to say, once I stumbled upon this scripture, I knew I wanted it up in the new rental home we were moving into the next month. And once we were here, Brian and I embarked on making this sign together!
First, I spent a bit of time designing it through my Silhouette software. Though I’ve always wanted to be good at graphic design, this isn’t necessarily my strength (yet). So I spent a while, playing with the colors and the fonts and learning about the program. After a while, I settled upon this:
Brian went out and got a wood board from Home Depot and cut it down to the size we wanted: 14″x 36″
I spray painted it white, and decided to use a stronger vinyl for the letters than the regular vinyl I have used for other basic projects since I wanted to make sure it would stick to a painted surface. (During my last project, I couldn’t get the vinyl to stick to the medium I was using and my Silhouette support group came to the rescue and taught me about Oracal 651…an outdoor vinyl that’s much stronger.) I loaded the vinyl into my Silhouette, pushed the little button on my computer and my awesome machine cut out all these letters for me!!
Using painter’s tape, I transferred the letters that I wanted to remain in white to the sign.
See the rolls of TP under the table? This picture represents REAL life around these parts…this is how we roll! (Haha…)
**Mistake #1: I FORGOT to lay down the verse reference, which I wanted in white as well. I didn’t realize I had forgotten this until the END, so it was definitely frustrating to have to go back and fix that. Lesson learned!
Then, Brian spray painted the whole thing turquoise. We let it dry, I peeled off the letters, and then I applied the rest of the scripture that was to remain in black. (It was at this point that I realized I had forgotten to put the reference down two steps earlier, so we ended up having to tape off the corner, spray the bottom corner white again, put on the letters, spray paint it turquoise, and then remove the lettering. Thus, as you can probably see below, there are lines around the reference which totally bother me, but, honestly, it’s a good reminder that perfection is not required to be a good parent :)).
Using a sandpaper block, I distressed the edges of the sign a little bit.
The finished product!
**Mistake #2: It wasn’t until we got the sign all hung up that I realized the tiny hyphen that should be present between “well” and “nurtured” didn’t survive the transfer. Gah! So…I had to go back and re-cut that little piece and attach it to the sign. I learned so much through this project!
We put the sign up on the wall in our playroom with several of my favorite recent pictures of the kiddos…pictures that show them flourishing and filled with joy.
A glimpse of our playroom!This little cutie woke up from her nap while I was snapping photos. I set her up with a snack, but she decided the subject of my photo should be something far more interesting than a wall in our playroom. So! Here’s my pillar…snacks in mouth and all :).Our flourishing youth & graceful pillar!
I love how it turned out, mistakes and all, and I love the reminder that it serves on the wall of our playroom!!
I hope you enjoyed learning about one of my very first home decor Silhouette projects :).
Now…do you love crafts and home decor as much as I do?? And do you…
Want to Check Out More Silhouette Projects?
My Silhouette Challenge buddies and I are all sharing projects on our blogs today, so peruse the projects below for a wealth of Silhouette inspiration!
We had probably seen “Pets Rule!,” a captivating, delightful, and highly-entertaining show at SeaWorld at least a dozen times. Elliott has always been quite taken by dogs and animals of all sorts, and this show was FULL of them—dogs, cats, pigs, ducks, you-name-its–all moving to the beat of the music while performing incredible stunts. Perfectly trained animals, clearing having the time of their lives as they showed off their mad skills while the audience cheered loudly with admiration, awe, and excitement.
Pets Rule!
So there we were, probably the thirteenth time in, and we got to THEE PART. You know, thee part…? Where they cue the touching music and make their speech at the end? Well, the woman had barely spoken the first three words of her monologue before the tears began to ROLL out of my eyes.
“…But you know, not all the animals you see here today were always so happy and healthy. As a matter of fact, some of the pets you have just seen perform, like Fresco or Casey, were either surrendered by their owners or picked up off the streets and taken to shelters and had no one to care for them. Take Chad. His owners gave up on him. They said, ‘He had too much energy and couldn’t be trained.’ Well, as you can see, Chad is very well behaved. Chad responded to every instruction he was given, jumped through hoola hoops and over obstacles and threw balls into hoops…”
Chad was not just “trainable.” Chad had been trained to be an extraordinary dog. A dog who performed amazing feats and tricks that most dogs will never do in their lives. His teachability and talent were clearly qualities that had been inside of him all long…it’s just that he had been given up on.
My lip quivered like a small child and I finally stopped trying to hold it in. Brian looked at me, incredulous. “Are you…crying??” he whispered in total awe. “What is wrong??”
“It’s just…it’s just…” I blubbered. “It’s just that this speech gets me every time!!”
Now, just to be clear, I’m not really an “animal” person. I mean, they’re great and all, and I love watching them do cool tricks and I’m happy for my friends who have pets that they love…but they’re not really my thing. So, as sad as it is that there are pets who have been abandoned and given up on, my heart beats for a bigger thing…my heart beats for the children who have been abandoned and given up on.
The speech…the speech about Chad and the other abandoned animals…It’s such a reflection of how our world views kids these days…how parents, teachers, society view our children. Unruly children, exasperated parents. You see it everywhere. Children in the grocery stores, throwing fits and screaming at their parents; parents throwing fits and screaming right back at their children. Children abandoned…everywhere. Physically, emotionally, spiritually…abandoned. They have not been trained. Where are the parents?? Where are the fathers?? Where are the mothers?? Where are the ones who will, instead of giving up on “unruly, impossible, nothing-can-be-done” children, go to their knees and ask God for His grace to understand the Word—where every piece of wisdom needed to parent in righteousness can be found? What I have heard over and over from parents is, “He is too out of control. There’s nothing to be done.” Why is it that the moment someone hears I have a 2-year-old, their expectation is never that he would be the delight that he is, but instead that he would fall right into the “the norm,” which is, “naturally,” that he would be a “terrible two-er”? Why are the “terrible twos” considered a “normal,” “expected” part of aging? I have a hard time believing that Jesus would have walked by a “terrible two-er” and said, “Oh, yeah…just get used to it. There’s nothing to be done…just carry on, and hope that age 3 comes quickly.” Yet this is what we seem to believe as a society.
I encountered it in teaching every day. A father who would roll his eyes while talking about his daughter (in front of her) and telling me how impossible her attitude was to deal with. A mother who labeled her son “devil child,” and then was filled with rage when he lived up to her expectation.
And over and over I saw—the root of the problem was not the kid. The root of the problem was that the kid was not trained. The kid had been abandoned—emotionally, physically, spiritually—and now was unruly. Over and over parents threw their kids at me each day telling me they were impossible. But a little training, coated in a lot of love, went a LONG way.
Unfortunately, a teacher can most often only go a “long” way…it is very difficult to go the entire way. That’s the parents’ jobs. To love and train their children relentlessly and diligently their entire lives.
But I see it in homes, too. Homes where the parents deeply love their children and love the Lord, yet have resigned to certain aspects of exasperation because “aren’t kids just exasperating?” It’s what we’ve been taught. Parenting is already the most difficult job that there is, and I want to breathe HOPE into you that it’s NOT your lot to live with exasperating behavior, rebellion and disrespect!! It’s not good for you OR your child! God promises us more!! I have observed this resignation in many, many families where the parents (excellent, excellent parents) just didn’t have vision for this “more.” This is what grieves my heart—like the owners who gave up on Chad because he was “untrainable,” I see parents, my friends, who are at the end of their ropes, exasperated and fed up. Unlike Chad’s parents, at least they don’t send their toddlers to the streets (haha), but they do not search out for more in their homes because of this stereotype that babies/toddlers/kids can’t be trained and are just meant to be frustrating their first few years of life. It grieves my heart because I know that’s not their heart for their kids and I know they are not living in the fullness with real vision. Vision that there truly could be peace. That the fruits of the Spirit could, indeed, be alive and active in their homes…even—even—in a home filled with babies and toddlers (and more).
I don’t condemn Chad’s previous owners—that’s not the point. But there’s this piece of my heart that wonders what could have been for them, had they had vision to really train him. I imagine he would have brought an enormous amount of joy into their home.
Elliott, taking great delight in this incredibly sweet, well-trained pup.
So to say that I am passionate about the training of children unto righteousness, godliness, holiness and practically, unto respect, self-control, and love probably doesn’t do my passion justice. But if you have spent even five minutes around me, with my kids or any others, my passion will probably be quite obvious. I am inserting a mini series of “Training” posts within my “Victorious Parenting” series because, I believe, training is fundamental to being a victorious parent.
I know this because I know this is God’s heart for us as his children and also for us as parents. Not only does he say, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6), but THE ENTIRE BIBLE is filled with training. Instruction. Teaching. If we neglect to train our children, we neglect to understand God’s heart in many areas of our own lives and the lives of our family. And that, my friends, is a big deal.
So, I will leave you with this: Proverbs 29:17 (in several different versions) to breathe some hope.
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. (ESV)
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. (NIV)
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad. (NLT)
Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul. (NASB)
Now doesn’t that sound nice?!?!
The following is from a commentary I read on this verse: “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest,… Ease of mind, satisfaction and contentment, freedom from all anxious thoughts and cares; the correction being taken in good part, and succeeding according to wish and design; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul; by his tenderness to his parents, obedience to them, and respect for them; by his prudent behaviour among men; by his sobriety, diligence, and industry in his calling; by his fear of God, and walking in his ways; than which nothing can give a greater delight and pleasure to religious parents.”
This Scripture speaks to a picture of a child who is disciplined, trained…a child who brings peace rather than chaos. My children are far from perfect. (Perfect will never be my goal.) But I will tell you with confidence—they are trained (and, obviously, will need to continue to be trained every day for the rest of their lives). This Scripture could not ring more true in our home, as Brian and I say to each other constantly, “Our children are so delightful!!” Not because they act perfectly all the time (again, not the goal), but because so much of the time, our children are, indeed, tender to us, obedient to us, have respect for us…Selah, even at 16 months old exhibits all of these behaviors on a regular basis. By the grace of God, in these early years where selfishness and tantrums are very real battles, our kids are already delights to our souls. And they did not just COME like that, like some people assume :). It has taken a LOT of training…but wow, have we seen fruit from that training!! Every day I am grateful for what we have invested in their early months and years, because it surely brings delight to our souls every single day. My heart is not to boast in anything I have done (because it was only through utterweakness and hours of prayer on my knees that I came to understand many of these truths), but only to boast in the truth of the Scriptures that promise us that when we train up our children according to the Word, there will be good fruit.
So, let’s join together and grab hold of the GOOD NEWS!! I hope you will join me on this journey to explore what God says about training our children unto godliness! I hope you will join me on this journey of HOPE as we take the Word at His word! Stay tuned for the next post: “It’s Not You, It’s Me.”
*This post is part of a series on Victorious Parenting. Click on the label to the right to read all posts in this series.*
I am determined to know my daughter’s heart.
Selah is more complicated than Elliott. And unfortunately, we tend to view the characteristic, “complicated” as a criticism. But it’s not a criticism, it’s a part of who she’s created to be. I’ve seen it from the time she was a teeny weeny baby… she would cry at times and I had NO idea why, whereas Elliott almost NEVER cried at odd times for no reason. Her naps have been totally unexplainable for long seasons of time, whereas Elliott was quite predictable. Selah is much more sensitive than Elliott ever was. Elliott was always perfectly comfortable and happy with every stranger or friend that he met, and always content to be in their arms. But Selah has shown lots of partiality to her mamacita, and has definitely had her fair share of tears at times when passed off to another.
In short, she has been hard to figure out sometimes. There have been MANY, MANY times in her short 7 months of life that I have said, “I just don’t know what she needs!! If I knew what she needed, I would give it to her!” I have been exasperated and frustrated–not at my sweet little daughter, but at my own lack of understanding. I so desperately want to give her what she needs.
And now, she’s in a new stage. She’ll be playing quite contently and then all of a sudden start to cry. She’ll spot me from across the room and look at me with pleading eyes through her tears as if to say, “Why have you abandoned me, Mama?! Please, please come!!!” I’ll go scoop her up, the tears instantly stop, and then…and then she pushes away from me. Seriously. She takes both her hands and pushes against me as if to get down. So, I put her down. And she begins to cry.
Tonight, days worth of this underlying frustration began to rise up in me. We were playing on the floor and she spotted her Leap Frog table. She bolted towards it with urgency, and I put her up so she was standing to play. And suddenly, she began to twist her entire body around and reach for me. I scooted closer and she grabbed onto my face with both her hands. So I picked her up, and–like clockwork–she pushed away and towards the play table. So I put her back, and she began to whine, again twisting her body around and reaching for me. I picked her up and put her on my lap, thinking she must just want the best of both worlds–to be in Mama’s arms and also be playing with her toy. But no, she twisted and squirmed, reaching for my face again. So I picked her up. Maybe she wants to cuddle? Nope. Instantly she began to push away.
“Sweet girl, what do you want????” I asked her, feeling the tension rising up in me.
I am so quick to give up, to push away, when I don’t understand. When I feel rejected. When I am hurt. When I don’t know what to do, I flee. Far too many Mother/daughter relationships and friendships are brought to destruction because of this pattern. One feels hurt, one seems to be distancing herself, the other doesn’t know what she did to hurt the first, so they both push away…and away…and away…until they are too far out of reach. It is so sad…how chasms as big as the Grand Canyon are formed through misunderstanding that leads to insecurity that leads to distance.
And I refuse to do that with my daughter. I know it sounds crazy. Yes, I know she is just 7 months old. Quit making a mountain out of a molehill, Susanne, you might be thinking. But, you see, I know the biggest of Oaks, formed over hundreds of years, started with a tiny seedling. And I want the seedling of my relationship with my daughter to grow up healthy, tall and strong. A tiny tree that starts to grow crooked because of an obstruction may not seem like a big deal when it’s only inches tall. But once that tree is full grown, it will be very apparent that it didn’t grow straight. The bigger it gets, the more the imperfection will be made very, very clear.
So I never want my heart towards Selah to be, “You are too complicated! I give up!! Just play by yourself and cry about it if you must!” Never, ever, ever. Even when she is “just” 7 months old. I am sure that Selah will be like me in some ways, and I am certain she will be very different than me in others. And I do not want to push away in exasperation because she puzzles me at times. I long to know her. To truly, truly know her heart. To understand how her mind works. Please, Lord, let not my frustration or my frustrated efforts lead me to push away from my daughter. Let not my insecurity that tells me I’m a bad mom if I don’t know what she needs, push me away from my daughter. Let not my fear that she will push me away, push me away from my daughter. I long to understand, not to reject. I long to know, not to run.
I read in a book once that a woman’s central fear is that she is too much, too complicated. Do we not all cry out to be known? To not be given up on? Oh, and how hurt we are when others choose to turn away from the journey of knowing our hearts because we are “just too much!” We see a woman sleeping around with men and are critical, instead of learning that she never had a dad to tell her of her worth. We see a woman who flaunts her body with short skirts and low shirts and we judge, instead of realizing that she never had a mother to teach her dignity. We see a woman who settles…oh, how she settles…instead of understanding that she has never tasted of her Father’s love; a love that died so that she could taste abundance. We push away because we do not know. We see the behavior, and we refuse to understand the heart. So we turn and run.
What destruction is brought upon women because we act this way. I will not tell my daughter she is too complicated, too sensitive, too fickle. I will not turn away when I don’t understand her. I will not settle for not truly knowing her heart.
Instead, I will find her. I will discover what makes her heart beat and I will fan that beat into flame. I will help teach her what to do with her emotions, instead of running when her emotions hurt my feelings. I will patiently bear with her in love when she knows not what she does because she is learning how to handle all of her own intricacies.
And lastly, I will celebrate her. I will celebrate how God made her–complicated and perfect. I will celebrate my Selah, whose intricate, beautiful heart within longs to be known and loved.
*This post is part of a series on Victorious Parenting. Click on the label to the right to read all posts in this series.*
Why “victorious parenting”? Because victorious parenting leads to victorious children. And yes, victorious parenting will even lead to victorious toddlers. (*Note: I did not say perfect toddlers…I said victorious toddlers.)
“I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
There is much to say about this Scripture. But doesn’t it speak beautifully to victory?! When I heard someone teach this verse for the first time in college, in a way that cast vision for me and completely expanded my paradigm of what “normal Christian life” should look like, I was changed forever. Suddenly, there was so much more to anticipate in life–as a believer, I could expect ABUNDANT LIFE and VICTORY through Christ. Wow. Believe it or not, this was completely profound for me when I was in my late teens. And I have clung to this truth since, for every arena of my life.
So here’s the problem. As believers, as moms, we can believe for abundant life and victory everywhere: in our work place, or on the mission field, or for the masses who need to be saved, or for the sick person who needs healing, or, or, or…but for those toddlers in their “terrible twos”?? Oh, no…this Truth couldn’t possibly break through that barrier. Those “terrible twos”…they’re just too much for the cross. Too much for our Savior to overcome.
My baby boy has just crossed over into his “twos”. And maybe I am extremely naïve (I guess we’ll find out in another year’s time…) but I think I’ve already gotten a taste of what these “terrible twos” advocates are speaking of: tantrums, defiance, total disobedience. But never once have I attributed Elliott’s behavior to a diagnosis other than “student.” Because he’s learning…isn’t that what students do? They learn. But the phrase, “Terrible Twos”? I guarantee that a Victorious Mother did not coin that term. A defeated, exasperated mother made that up. But why–oh why??–can we have faith that Jesus died on the cross so that we would have abundant life in every aspect of life except as a toddler? Why is this short, and SUPER, SUPER FUN season of our children’s lives characterized as “terrible”? And yes, I know that Elliott is barely two. Talk about faith :). But I believe that simply labeling his behavior as “terrible,” and giving up on any hope of of helping lead him into victory in this stage of his life, is the farthest thing from God’s heart imaginable.
Because yes, it’s true: toddlers can throw fits and don’t know how to attain abundance and victory on their own. But that’s not the end of the story! It’s our job to help them find that life that is theirs in Christ. Too often we find toddlers who are totally defiant and out-of-control, and toddlers who are scared into “perfect performance or obedience.” But it is our goal, as victorious moms, to train our toddlers to fall plumb in the obedience spectrum, which would make them victorious. Again, not perfect, but victorious. Thus, it is my goal, in everything I do as a mom, that I would help Elliott be victorious,not out of control OR quenched. Because I think that quenched little boys (who fall on one end of the spectrum) are actually further prone to rebel (to the other end of the spectrum).
I am constantly attempting to press Elliott into victorious living. There are many, many, many things that we can do as moms to help our toddlers be victorious. In this post, I want to park on just one of those things, and that is, teaching them responsibility. Teaching children responsibility for their actions leads to children who are victorious, instead of troublemakers. Instead of terrible twoers.
Teaching a toddler to be victorious means teaching him responsibility, not removing opportunitiesto learn this when he displays seeming incompetence or disobedience. I am very, very, very passionate about this particular point.
I believe men are created to be mighty. Mighty, strong, warriors. And anyone who’s been around a toddler boy knows this. You don’t have to teach a boy how to wrestle or play with swords or kick a ball or climb up on the highest places he can reach. It’s just in him, it’s innate.
So how does a toddler boy go from a vivacious, eager, forceful little boy who lives to throw balls and hit things with sticks and drive a car over every square inch of the house to a passive, tired, grumpy, no-vision-or-excitement-for-life old man whose only life comes from living vicariously through sports starts and sitcom actors? How does that happen?
Well, for one thing, it’s possible that his parents didn’t raise him to have Kingdom vision. And, secondly? Mamas, I bet he was quenched. In fact, I can almost guarantee it–his passion, his force, his zeal, his very life…was quenched. And one of those voices was probably his mama.
A toddler boy starts out filled with zeal, passion, and force, and he hears, “Stop it! No! Don’t climb on that! You spilled what?! *exasperated sigh* Sit down and be quiet! Quit being so wild!!” And, I can only imagine that if he hears that his entire life, he will eventually start doing what he’s told.
I cannot say strongly enough how urgent and important the conviction is in my spirit to never, ever, everquench my son. Teach him and train him and give him boundaries? Oh, yes (but that’s for another blog post). Quench him? Never. It is my heart that I never, ever, ever would through my actions or through my words.
A few weeks ago, we got Elliott his very first treat from Starbucks. We were having a family day, and decided to go to Starbucks so we could all have “a special treat.” We told Elliott of the plan and headed to Playas. We ordered him a kid’s hot cocoa, and couldn’t wait for him to try this 130 degree liquid chocolate yumminess. He had been anticipating this treat for close to an hour and you could see the sparkle in his big blue eyes as I handed him the cup. He took hold of it with both his hands and shoved the straw into his mouth where he eagerly began to suck the rich goodness right through that green straw. Brian and I watched with such excitement and joy–is there anything more fulfilling than giving your toddler such a special treat?? He finished his several gulps and set the drink back down. “Do you like it, Big Guy???” I asked, so eager to watch his eyes light up as he said, “Yeah!” But…that didn’t happen. He just simply nodded, placed his drink on the table and got up to play. We were so bummed. We kept trying to get him to take more sips but he just really didn’t want to. We were so disappointed, so excited to give him something that would give him just a little bit of extra joy. But, his bit of extra joy came in the form of the green straw, that was apparently the cat’s meow in his eyes. It was way more fun to play with the straw and his hot cocoa than to drink it. So, he decided he wanted to put the straw through the tiny lid hole in the hot cocoa lid, even though there was already a straw in it. 23 month old + a cup filled with hot cocoa + a game of taking the straw in and out over and over= (as any mom could guess) a MESS. We explained to him that that wasn’t the best idea but he insisted on trying it. We asked him to stop twice, but he chose not to listen. Sure enough, he went to force the straw into that tiny hole (that already had a straw in it) in the lid and he knocked the cup over and it spilled all over the table and the floor.
I was tempted—for a brief moment—to be exasperated with Elliott. “See?! What did I tell you?” My mind raced with, “Ugh! Doesn’t he know yet that we set rules in place for everyone’s best interest??” But, thankfully, I caught myself quickly and instead, these words came out, gently, softly, and with a heart to see my son walking in victory: “Oh, buddy, that’s why we were asking you not to put the straw into your drink. Let’s go get a napkin and clean it up.” “Yeah,” Elliott replied soberly—but eagerly.
“Victory” in this discipline moment was not to prove to him how right I was and how wrong he was. “Victory” in this moment was not to take him from the disobedient end of the spectrum and belittle him to the defeated end. “Victory” in this moment was not to succumb to embarrassment as other people in Starbucks stared, and thus embarrassing my son to make sure they knew I was handling the situation like an “in-control” parent would. You see, it is nevermy intention to quench my son. It is never my intention to squash him, or make him feel like he’s the size of an ant. It is never my intention to “show him who’s boss” and to “show him who knows best.” No—it’s my intention to press him into victorious living. To teach him to be a wild boy within healthy constraints. To teach him how to take responsibility when he accidentally (or purposefully) defies those constraints. Because, how many times have I disobeyed the Lord? Ignored His promptings and encouragements? Flat out said, “No,” because I was convinced my way was better or, more selfishly, just really wanted to do it my way… How many times? Who can even count… But God has never quenched me, never squashed me, never—ever, ever—made me feel stupid for disobeying or for making a mistake. No, He’s helped press me into victory.
When our toddlers make a mess, and we are so exasperated at our child’s foolishness that we tell him to go sit down and “stay out of the way” while we clean up after him, mad, annoyed, and cursing under our breath, what are we communicating to the child? “You are worthless. You are irresponsible and worthless. So you sit there and think about that while I clean up after your worthless mistake.” We are teaching our kids that not only are they irresponsible, but that they are too worthless to even take responsibility for the mess they have created. This is not the heart of my God.
So instead of squashing my son, I handed him a napkin. And he immediately took responsibility for his disobedience and cleaned up the mess he had made. And happily went on playing with his straw within the boundaries we had set for him.
*This post is part of a series on Victorious Parenting. Click on the label to the right to read all posts in this series.*
Motherhood.
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you read that word? Go ahead, think about it.
I hope that, for you, thoughts of your beautiful children fill your mind when you hear that word. I hope that you think about the way your little boy nuzzled his head into your neck before saying, “Good night.” I hope you’ll think about the way your daughter lit up the moment she saw your face. I hope you’ll think of the 12 piles of laundry, the UNBELIEVABLE amount of dishes piled in the sink, and the toilet that hasn’t been scrubbed in 2 (3? 4??) weeks, and I hope that you are filled with joy, remembering the trip to the park that stained your son’s jeans and the nourishing meal that you prepared for your family that forced you to dirty 6 pans and an unfathomable amount of dishes. I hope, when you hear the word “motherhood,” you are filled with joy and peace, as you think about the reality of what that word means.
Sometimes, I am grieved at the way motherhood is portrayed. Or, more specifically, at the way children are portrayed. And aren’t the two, in their very nature and design, inseparably intertwined? Unfortunately, many of the things I read these days surrounding motherhood and children are so negative. Why is being a mom—especially a mom of a toddler—so often spoken of in the most exasperating, stressful, impossible light? I don’t understand this. As believers, we should be living victoriously. Not perfectly, but victoriously. There’s a huge difference—victorious moms have eyes to see their children, not a stubbornness to throw their hands up in the air and say, “Kids will be kids! I give up!” It grieves me to see this latter attitude, especially in Christian circles. Why is it that we can have faith for the impossible in every other arena of our lives, but cannot have faith that our God will give us victory in our homes? Our God is victorious, in every arena of our lives. There is no obstacle too great for Him to reach, including the “out-of-control, exasperating, stressful, impossible toddler,” of whom many speak. And it grieves me when people focus on that, on what is seen, versus on what a very mighty God we have and how he can teach a woman who fears the Lord just exactly how to raise her children in an atmosphere of peace and joy in her home. This is faith for our children.
I believe that every word written in the bible is true. Not just partially true or periodically true or perhaps true in certain circumstances…No, I believe the bible is the inerrant word of the living God and thus, it is true. Completely, at all times, in all circumstances…always, profoundly true.
As a person destined for death before Christ intervened, this is good news. As a woman created to have great impact on this earth, this is great news. As a wife who longs to love her husband in a way that presses him into the fullness of life, this is awesome news.
And as a mom, who is on her knees before the Lord, desperate to raise her children in the fear of the Lord, this is the best possible news. EV-ER.
Because listen to what God says about raising my children:
“Train them in the way they should go, and they will not depart from it,” Proverbs 22:6.
Wait, God, you’re telling me that if I do my job with intentionality and excellence, that they will walk in your ways?? It’s that simple? Why yes, sign me up, Lord!!
Yes, I realize this is a bold statement. Yes, I realize that many won’t hear me because my only children are both under the age of 2. Yes, I fully realize that some will take my premise as prideful and arrogant. Yes, I realize that many will tell me that the above bible verse is only true sometimes and that I cannot count on it for my children.Yes, I realize that some will tell me I am foolish, and I cannot expect my children to bear good fruit. Yes, I realize some will try to convince me that the way my children turn out is a crap shoot. And that’s okay, because I am not writing for them. I am writing for me, and for the other moms out there who have faith in His word over their children. Because for me, my premise is absolutely not one of judgment or criticism—oh, no. My premise is one of HOPE. My premise is one of FAITH. And I will hope in my God until the day I die. I will have faith that my children will walk in the ways I have trained them and love the Lord with all of their hearts. If the Scriptures are true, then my God has promised me that if I fear him, the fruit will manifest in my children. And this, my friends, is extraordinarily good news.
Women of faith, join me by walking out this good news as we fulfill the greatest role imaginable—raising our children to love the Lord our God with all of their hearts, minds, souls and strength! Because as we do, it will manifest as peace and joy in our children, in us, and in our homes! And this is how we walk victoriously as mothers!!
*This post is the first in a series on Victorious Parenting. Click on the label to the right to read all posts in this series.*
Dear, dear Friends,
I’m starting a series of blog posts centered around the theme of victorious parenting. I want to share a little bit of my heart, honestly exposed for you, my friends, about why and how all of this came about. So, I’m imagining I’m sitting at a cozy little coffee shop (like the kind with REALLY good coffee), drinking a decaf extra-hot caramel macchiato in a ceramic mug, sharing a bit about my heart to start writing about parenting.
I’ll be honest—it’s been difficult for me to start writing this series, and a big part of that was because I didn’t know that it was a series when I started writing it! I have several “posts” already written, some in word documents and some still rambling around in my head. I would much more prefer to have them all written out, ordered strategically, edited, re-edited, read, re-read…I would much more prefer to know exactly what the beginning, the middle, and the end looks like. But, in order to kick this nagging perfectionism that loves to torment me to the curb, I don’t. I am (mostly) taking this one post at a time, which frees me up to just be, instead of needing to be perfect.
Months and months ago, I was talking to a dear friend, recounting my passion for training children and raising them in the fear of the Lord. I told her I had part of a post written out but for some reason I just couldn’t get it finished. And she immediately said to me, “I bet that’s because it’s not one post—it’s probably more like 10!” And instantly as I thought about the many, many, many pages I already had written out on this topic (those of you who know me well, know I tend to be a bit long-winded, ha!), I realized that was true…so I took the pressure off of myself to get all of my thoughts written into one post, and suddenly I knew just where to start. And now, from time to time (usually post teeth brushing, where my greatest inspiration often occurs) I’ll share with Brian little blurbs about what’s on my heart. And after I’m through he’ll look at me and say, “Now, go write.” So my head is slowly but surely becoming less cluttered with all the things I want to write about, now that I know that I can take it in pieces. And those pieces don’t have to be perfect.
The bottom line is, I am writing because I am passionate. I am passionate about a lot of things, but I am very, very passionate about being a mom. Because I am very, very passionate about kids. At my 30th birthday party last year, my closest friends gathered around me and shared scriptures, quotes, or words about who I am. My dear friend Chrisy said, “I think of the word, ‘Eureka!’ when I think about you!!” She went on to describe how when I discover something that has flipped my world upside-down—whether it be a revelation from the Lord, chiropractic care, my uh-maaayyyy-zing mattress, Zumba, naturopathy, or those dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds that Costco sells around Christmastime—I want the world to know about it. Because if it’s changed my life, then I want it to change yours, too! And this is why I’m so excited to write about victorious parenting. I have found incredible joy and peace, and it is way more exciting to share it than to keep it to myself. I don’t in any way presume to have figured it out, nor do I believe that parenting fits into a “one size fits all” handbook. However, although all children and parents are unique, I do believe His truths are universal. Most everything that I write comes as I parent my sweet little Elliott and have massive revelations about boys, children in general, mothers, and fathers in light of Scripture. I believe that the Lord has given me a passion and many truths about parenting that I hope will encourage some, spur others on, and open conversation with the rest.
And so begins the blogging journey surrounding victorious parenting, starting with this one: A Victorious Mother. There will probably be somewhere between 3 and 100 posts under this series, and who knows how often they will come. I am just taking it one post at a time, and seeing where it leads…
My friends, I hope you will join me!! Read, comment, contribute!! Let’s link arms, and run after truth together!!
