Category: Train Up Your Child

  • Father Goose

    Water has been a fairly constant presence in our marriage, from living in our first home together on Waterview and then moving to the Dominican Republic and Mexico, where we were within walking distance and/or sight of water. Now even living in land-locked Colorado, God somehow managed to gift us with this amazing piece of land that has a pond. Our first house on the property had a lovely view of the water, but our current home on the property actually has a kitchen sink that faces the water.

    So I hardly ever take my eyes off the glittering blue. Especially when I’m doing dishes. When we enjoy our meals together, my eyes glance among my husband, these two precious gifts of children that God is letting us enjoy on earth, and the world surrounding our water. And what a world it is!

    It truly never ceases to amaze me how many surprises we are awed by each coming week or month. There is always something new to discover, always something new to explore. Just this summer alone, we have watched a mother Mallard care for her two new ducklings. We have watched a mama Scaled Quail lead her dozen little babes all over our backyard. The kids have discovered, captured, played with, and organized races with the two different types of snakes that are of abundance in the pond: Lined Snakes and Plains Garter Snakes. One day on a walk we took the time to examine as best we could the hanging bird nests we’ve noticed in the past and then God delighted us with directing one of the birds to perch at the top of the humongous Cottonwood and sing us his incredible song. We recorded it and raced home to do some research, finally realizing that these birds, which are always too high up for us to see clearly, are indeed Bullock Orioles. They are the designers and manufacturers of those incredible hanging nests. We identified two new types of shore birds enjoying the banks near our water: the American Avocet and the Wilson’s Phalarope. We also had a visit from a Double Crested Cormorant, which we haven’t seen in a couple years. What magnificent birds!! The swallows have swarmed like normal this spring and early summer, but this year they chose our ideally-suited stucco home to build their mud nests. If you’ve never watched a bird build her nest, stop what you’re doing right now and put that on your bucket list. It is truly a wonder…watching them collect pieces of mud, one tiny clump at a time and build these magnificent pieces of architecture to house their eggs and babies. These have been the new surprises of our summer. This is not to mention the beauties that we are used to: the brilliant golden current blossoming like rays of sunshine throughout the property, the cattails springing up like green shoots, the killdeer running around the shores with their loud chatters and pronouncements, the red-winged blackbirds singing and soaring. The herons swooping in and gracefully adorning the water. The pelicans, in all of their elegance, swimming and feasting. The turtle the kids found while kayaking confirming to us we do have life again in the pond. The baby tiger salamander they found, although it was dead, was like a whispered promise from God: “See? I will restore life here though there was drought and death.” The many minnows swimming confirm the same thing. The sunsets revealing God’s heart for beauty. The mountains declaring the glory of God and the strength of His might and our promise that “those who trust in the Lord are as Mount Zion. They shall not be moved” (Psalm 125).

    But, despite all of those wonders, one new surprise God brought to our waters at the end of spring was a goose nest. We have Canada Geese that frequent our Back Forty, but a walk in mid-May revealed to us that a pair of Canada Geese had chosen the banks of our pond as the birth place of their goslings. We discovered the mama sitting on her brood of 5 large eggs, the father dutifully nearby lest anyone try to disturb her. Even as we neared the mama, the father began swimming towards the bank to protect her. We stayed a good distance away, but he was on the shore in no time, ready to fight and defend. Over the next few days we watched closely until one day we saw the two proud parents swimming with four tiny, yellow goslings between them. A walk out to the nest a couple days later confirmed that one of the eggs did not hatch. But over the past couple of months, we have watched this sweet little family grow up and thus, even from my kitchen sink, I find myself marveling at God’s good created order and plan.

    The mother goose, the father goose standing guard, and the egg that didn’t survive.

    And here is the unfortunate truth of it: this father goose is a truer father than most human dads. He did not abandon his mate nor his offspring. He counts his offspring as worth defending, even while still yet within their egg casings. Because God gave even an animal such as this the instinct to recognize the value and worth of his offspring. God gave even an animal such as this the instincts to reflect His good created order, to recognize that children are a blessing from God. Even an animal such as this will stand by night and day to guard his wife and his children. And that is far more than we can say for many of the American people right now.

    Knowing their goslings would not be able to fly for some time, they chose a nesting ground near water to protect them. Any sign of danger sends them scurrying into the water, the father always last to fend off the foe and ensure his family is safe. Day after day we have watched this precious family grow and enjoy each other while the parents faithfully guard and protect their children at all costs. The children are obedient to their parents. They know the safest place for them to be is with their parents, under their umbrella of authority and protection, not off finding their own independence and deciding for themselves what they think is best. The gosling does not say to his father, “I think I am actually a squirrel. Therefore, I will remain on land and climb trees.” He trusts his father to tell him who he is and therefore how he should grow into an adult Canada Goose who will know how to act, perform and behave as God intended. But even if he did say something that absurd to his father, I am confident that this dad, whom I’ve watched intently over the last three months, would tell him the truth. “Son, you are not a squirrel. You are a gosling whose wings do not work yet. You need warmth, protection, direction and guidance from your mother and me. If you go live on land, that coyote we’ve seen wandering around every few days will find you and eat you. You will die. Trust us as your parents; we will tell you the truth.”

    No, there is no rebellion or mistrust from these goslings. There is no ignorance on the part of the parents. Each day as they go for a swim, the mama leads, all four goslings swim behind her in a perfectly straight row, and the father follows behind watching for danger. They know they are safe in their parents’ protection because these parents know it is their responsibility to guard and protect their offspring. They do not neglect their duties in order to give their children a “freedom” that will lead to their sure demise. They do not neglect their duties in the name of “love” but rather have taken up their God-given responsibilities to protect, provide, teach and guide.

    In the upper left photo, you can see both parents telling my kids, who are nearby on the shore, who is boss. In the bottom two photos you can also see the Mama Mallard and her two baby ducklings joining the party.

    Every single day for the past three months, we have watched this sweet little family go for walks. And it is the same every single time: the mother and the goslings peck and search for food while the father, on the other hand, never eats. No, his head is never down in the dirt. His head remains high up and alert at the end of his straight neck, searching constantly for danger. He is always on the lookout.

    Upper left: the father shepherds his family into the water as we were, apparently, too close. The goslings are getting bigger and looking more like their parents every day! Bottom photo: You can see three of the goslings resting, the mother and another gosling eating, and the father on alert as usual.

    One day they were taking a family walk near our home. As usual, the children stayed within a few feet of their parents, modeling their mother’s behavior of pecking diligently in the ground to seek nourishment. We decided to go out there and try to get a little closer to observe them. My darling Selah, who sometimes has the habit of acting without thinking through the consequences, decided to charge the geese. I still, to this day, after many thorough discussions, have absolutely NO idea what was going through her head. The plan was to gently and slowly approach, showing we were no threat, just to try to observe. But as Elliott and I gingerly approached the family, Selah came charging from behind us towards the family, yelling a war cry. Of course, the goslings and the mother quickly began to run towards the lake, but not the dad. That father, knowing his duty to protect his family, instead charged at Selah. Though he didn’t exactly “attack” her, he certainly let her know who was boss. He spread his expansive wings, showing off his 6 foot wing span, and flew up onto her back as she tried to—wisely—run away. He squawked and yelled and warned her to never charge his family again. Because HE is their protector, and like all Canada Geese fathers, he will NEVER abandon his children.

    Yes, Selah and I have had lengthy discussions since that day regarding her reckless behavior, but that’s not the point of this reflection. The point is, during a time where my heart is, really, overcome with sorrow at the horrific state of our nation’s fathers, God has given me this beautiful reminder that His created order, though decaying because of sin, will not be destroyed forever. In a time where fathers, in particular, have fully abandoned their responsibilities of being a father, I still have the unwavering hope that our Heavenly Father has never and will never abandon His children. This Father Goose will guard his goslings when threatened by an enemy, even to the death. We live in a time where human fathers think the enemy is their child, and it is by the father’s own hand the child dies. We live in a time where if, somehow, by the grace of God the baby escapes his mother’s womb alive, he will enter a world where organizations are fighting to BREAK APART the family model, REDEFINE the family model and then FABRICATE lies about that child’s identity. All of these things will surely lead to the destruction of families, children and the next generation, save the redemption of Christ. It is crystal clear observing these geese: If a gosling would have strayed from his father’s protection, he quickly would have been put to death by the many predators surrounding the lake. If the father had not remained to protect, lead and guide, the goslings would have surely died. The family unit, according to God’s design, brings protection, stability, and clarity for the goslings’ lives and futures.

    The last time we saw Father Goose and his family, the day before they flew away.

    I awoke one morning this week to see two Canada Geese flying away. We have been watching the parents give “flight lessons” to their goslings for the past couple of weeks, but in the past three months the parents have not flown at all, other than from one side of the lake to the other for the purpose of instruction. But that morning, the two flew AWAY. The other four were nowhere to be seen and we haven’t seen them since. What a beautiful thing God allowed us to witness this summer. A growing family, submitted to God’s order in His good creation, made it. They made it. The goslings graduated and get to repeat the lessons they’ve learned from their faithful father to the next generation of geese.

    Oh God, have mercy! Have mercy on us humans who have become “so wise” in our own eyes! So wise, that we think our ways are higher than yours. Have mercy on the father who did not turn to your ways, who did not guard and protect his daughter, who did not tell her the Truth, who allowed her to “find herself” and “follow her heart” straight into the bed of an evil and wicked man who gave her his seed for his own pleasure, only to destroy her and destroy it. Have mercy on this new father who has not only recklessly abandoned the woman who is with child because of him by fornication, but who is advocating for his own offspring’s death. And Lord, have mercy on the woman who has a baby in her womb and paints the words “not yet human” on her almost-full term swollen abdomen. This is a woman who can FEEL the movements of the life within her, who is even holding life within her arms, and yet has blinded her eyes to reality for the sake of “freedom.” Have mercy on the people who advocate for the “right” of abortion, as if murder of the innocent could ever, ever, EVER be justified by the ignorance of fathers, who for generations have neglected their role as CHILD OF GOD, HUSBAND and FATHER. Who for generations have neglected their Maker and all of his ways.

    I cannot pray, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do,” because they DO know. Every pro choice person knows exactly what he or she is doing when they vote to legalize the mass slaughter of innocent children. Though they try to justify it through ridiculous lies, even my 9 year old recognizes, “Mama, how could they say a baby in the womb isn’t alive? We all know that anything that’s growing is living. The baby can’t be dead and then suddenly alive once it’s birthed!” Out of the mouths of babes.

    But, even though they are well aware of what they are doing, I do pray for God to forgive them…while simultaneously praying for His justice to come. I pray for their eyes to be opened to the reality of truth and for God to have mercy on their souls despite their unwillingness to have mercy upon the lives of the unborn. May God give them the grace to repent.

    The guilt of the murder of each of the SIXTY THREE MILLION babies is on all of our hands. As a nation we have strayed so far from God’s truth. In our homes and schools and churches, we have strayed so far from God’s truth. We must pray, repent, and speak truth, even if it kills us. We MUST “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves” (Proverbs 31:8-9). And we must teach our children the Truth, despite loud voices trying to convince them otherwise.

    You may not have a kitchen sink that faces the water. But you have all of creation at your fingertips and even the rocks will cry out to tell the truth. Will you?

    Friends, remember Father Goose. And remember that the One who created you will give you wisdom and truth if only you will ask for it. Speak up, fellow believers, speak up. And pray for the unrighteous to stop “stopping their eyes and ears” and turn towards truth. Pray for the unrighteous to seek first the kingdom of God, rather than their own wicked desires, and to find wisdom at its source: through the fear of the Lord, not through the “social justice” created by man’s foolishness. Pray for them to repent.

    As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything (Ecclesiastes 11:5).

    For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools (Romans 1:18-22).

    “This is my Father’s world! O let me ne’er forget,

    That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the Ruler yet.

    This is my Father’s world! The Battle is not done;

    Jesus who died shall be satisfied, and earth and heav’n be one!”

    The (double) promise He set in the sky over our property last month.

    The rainbow, and all of creation, belong to Him. And He who has promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).

  • Selah Sings the ABC’s with a Twist

    Selah Sings the ABC’s with a Twist

    What do you get when an engineer marries a writer and they have a baby?

    You get a very special little girl who sings The ABC’s With a Twist! Here is Selah performing at the school talent show last week!

     

    Here’s the long story for those of you are into that sort of thing…

    Brian learned how to solve the Rubik’s cube a couple of years ago. A couple of months ago, just a couple of weeks before turning 6, Selah suddenly took on an interest and decided she wanted to learn how to solve it. Brian handed her a set of instructions and I will admit–we were both fairly blown away when she just read through the instructions on her own and learned how to solve it…as long as she had the instructions to follow. Within just a matter of days after that, she had all but the last two steps completely memorized. So she only needed to pull out instructions for the last two steps. We were impressed for sure! But for whatever reason, she really though it was just too hard to memorize those last two steps. She was perfectly content knowing what she knew.

    Fast forward a week or so and the school announces that they are holding a talent show.

    Selah: I want to be in the talent show. What’s a talent?
    Me: Well, it’s something that you do that’s really special and unique, and you perform on stage.
    Selah: Well I want to be in the talent show.
    Me: What would you do?
    Selah: I could do a cartwheel.
    Me: Well, a cartwheel is pretty cool, but for a talent show you kinda need to do something REALLY special.
    Selah: I know! I’ll do my running kip!
    Me: Uh…there won’t be a bar on stage…
    Selah: I could read a book.
    Me: Well, yes, it is really special that you can read a book but a talent show is for things that are a little more…unique…and really, really special.
    Selah: Then I’ll read a chapter book.
    Me: Again, it’s quite impressive that you can read a chapter book, but that’s not exactly talent show material…and, it has to be less than five minutes. You know, if you learned how to solve those last two steps in the Rubik’s cube, THAT would be a fairly impressive talent for a kindergartener.
    Selah: No, that’s too hard.

    <conversation over>

    Fast forward a few more days…

    Tuesday: some friends (who were quite a bit older) were discussing the routine they were going to do for the talent show. Selah says to me again, “I want to be in the talent show.” “Well, think of a talent before the auditions on Thursday!” I replied.

    Wednesday morning: Brian and I wake up in the 6 o’clock hour, and when we get out of bed we realize that Selah is already up and has memorized one out of the last two steps needed to solve the Rubik’s Cube. By the time Brian got home from work that night she was able to solve the entire thing without instructions. Just in time for the talent show auditions the next day :).

    Thursday: By Thursday afternoon, she not only had it memorized but could solve it in less than 2 and a half minutes. After her “audition,” we suggested adding a little script to make the act really special…and the rest is history :).

    This girl seems to have been born for the stage. We had three weeks to practice before the real talent show and from time to time she would just burst out, “I can’t WAIT to be on stage!!!!!! I LOVE being on stage!!!” Other than her ballet performance at 4 years old, I’m not sure she’s ever been on a stage?!! I’m certain she’s never used a microphone before. But my goodness, she certainly hit the ball out of the park.

    When we came home from the talent show she said, “Next year for the talent show, I want to solve the Rubik’s cube blindfolded.” So…stay tuned…she has a whole year to practice :).

    Selah Bethany, we see how God has knit you into an extraordinary little girl. Over time, you will be tempted to use your talents to glorify yourself instead of the Lord. May you always return to glorifying Him…whether you eat, or drink, or solve a Rubik’s cube, may it all be to the glory of the One who formed you. 

    We love you and are so thankful for the heart that God is forming within you!!

  • Order In Kid Land

    Order In Kid Land

    If there’s one thing that’s helped keep order in our lives, it’s having a home that’s orderly enough that my kids can HELP me keep it orderly.

    I’ve always had some type of bin to store kid toys in, but when we found the perfect shelving unit/bin combo at IKEA, we both knew it was the ticket to life and orderliness in our crazy “kid land” which we call, “The Playroom.” We were trying to figure out how to store toys and ALSO get some sort of a “surface” in our playroom for building train tracks and doing puzzles and all fun things that require a hard surface. We saw these shelving units set up at IKEA and realized we had found the perfect solution for both (pictures below)!

    Upon getting the bins home and the shelving unit built, I immediately started labeling them.

    Three things to consider when labeling toy bins for young (non-reader) kids:

    1. You want clear, simple pictures so kids can put toys away on their own before they can read
    2. You want words to go along with each picture so that they can begin to associate that picture with that word
    2. You want a label that’s going to be durable enough to resist messy and curious fingers that are touching them EVERY day…

     

    I used my label-maker to whip out labels for each of the bins. They were so darling and cute and I was so proud of myself…until…the next morning when kids actually came near them.

    For some reason, the labels stayed better on the colored bins than on the white bins, but in general, they ALL did what most stickers do…they peeled up. With a little use and over just a very little time, the corners began to curl up, and especially with the assistance of tiny fingers that LOVE peeling stickers off :). They began to look grungy and gross and fall off.

    Gross.

    Enter…MY SILHOUETTE CAMEO TO SAVE THE DAY!!!

    I generally used the same files that I had from my previous labels (free images that I found on the internet), but I did grab a few from the Silhouette store for simplicity’s sake. I had to use Oracal 651 Outdoor Vinyl (the Sihouette “Indoor/Outdoor” vinyl did NOT stick to the bins…). (P.S. I learned that the hard way! I cut out ALL of the words, went to stick one on, and I couldn’t get it to stick…I wasted tons of vinyl! Now I always test out vinyl before cutting everything out!) So, I ordered new vinyl, tested it (ha!), cut out the words and pictures and then used transfer tape to stick them on the bins.

    So simple. So easy. And I will testify–these have been on our toy bins for months now, and we’ve only lost one tiny part of one of the images on the Duplo bin. No curling, no grudginess. I also think there is just LESS temptation to try and peel them off because, unlike the labels, they don’t LOOK like stickers. Even with having lots of friends over, they have stayed in place.

     

    I love how clean and crisp they look, while still being kid-friendly and fun.

    My kids love to build…can you tell? 🙂

    How ADORABLE are these?!!

    Don’t you love the functionality of these IKEA shelving units and bins?! Everything is neatly tucked away and easily accessible, AND the kids have a place to work puzzles and build train tracks!

    A close up of some of the pictures’ details.

    I will admit, I LOVE sitting in our playroom and staring at our cute bins :).

    Now, let me cast a tiny bit MORE vision to help create order in YOUR kid land!

    Kids can be trained to clean up!

    I am a BIG fan of teaching my kids to clean up after themselves. Not only does it produce much-needed discipline in them, but it also takes a HUGE load off of me while trying to keep the house clean. We’ve had both the kids start helping with clean up time as soon as they could crawl. Yes! You read that correctly :). Granted, at that age, I OBVIOUSLY needed to be in the room to aid the clean up, but after a year or so of training them, they are FULLY capable of cleaning up ALL BY THEMSELVES. Like I already said, this is a super easy, simple-to-teach “chore” that kids can develop disciline in early on, AND it’s a HUGE blessing and help for ME.

    Step 1: “The Fetch Game”

    From 6-12 months (or, crawling to 12 months), I would sit on the floor next to the toy bins and say, “Can you bring me that ball?” or “Can you bring me that yellow tool?” At 6 months, they may not get most objects right, but that’s okay! If they pick up the stuffed animal instead of the ball, I just say, “Oh! Good! You brought me the teddy bear!” All of this is aiding in your kid learning how to respond to instruction, learn vocabulary, and learn to serve and help around the house.

    Step 2: “Hide and Seek”

    Once they’ve mastered The Fetch Game, (after 2-3 months or so), move on to a slightly more challenging, independent task: “Can you find all the balls and put them in THIS bin? Do you see the picture of the ball on this bin?? This is where the balls go!” If any of your playrooms looks like ours does at the end of a day, this is actually a pretty challenging task! Ha! But it’s developing perseverance and diligence, as they have to scan the room and pick out the intended objects.

    Step 3: “I Spy”

    Once they’ve mastered Hide and Seek (again, probably after 2-3 months), ask them if they can find the bin that has a certain picture. “Which bin has the tools on it? Good! Can you find all the tools and put them in that bin?”

    These were generally the steps I took in training my kids to clean up their toys, and both my kids have been able to fully independently clean up the playroom by age 2. Though it may SEEM like a lot of work on the front end, I will tell you, I am SO GRATEFUL to have two children who know how to pick up and who (generally, ha!) LOVE to clean up because it is a task they can be very successful with. Since we have cultivated the idea that order is important to us, our children have jumped on that train. And though our house is *almost never* perfectly picked up and ordered, we can usually get it back to that place very quickly since my kiddos are such huge helps!

    So…are YOU ready to jump on the ORGANIZATION TRAIN?!!

     

    Want to Check Out More Silhouette Projects?

    My Silhouette Challenge buddies and I are all sharing projects on our blogs today, so peruse the projects below for a wealth of Silhouette inspiration!

    Organizing With Icons Butterfly Labels Customizing Your Erin Condren Life Planner Weekly Layout Organizing Your Craft Supplies with Labels Weekly Menu Box Peg Board Entry Way Order In Kid Land A Fun Way to Label Binders Sugar and Spice Looking Oh So Nice Turning a Plain Cabinet into Something Beautiful DIY Cash Budget Envelopes Flour and Sugar Pantry Container Labels Personalized Hair Bow Organizer Organize your Refrigerator DIY Vinyl Decorated Coupon Organizer 2015 Blog Planner Designed For Dragonfly & Lily Pads Laminated Labels with Your Silhouette The Secrets of How We Built Our DIY Play Kitchen Creative Way to Dry Winter Mittens Organizing Canvas Toy Bins with Labels Kids Closet Storage {with Rubbermaid Drawer Dresser and Vinyl Labels} Cute Gold Binder Labels {2015 Organization} Easy Vinyl Storage Organization and TWO Free Cut Files Personalized Ring Holders Upcycle for Organization Organizing Makeup with Style: A Monogrammed Makeup Case Vinyl Tupperware Labels How to Make a Chalkboard Clipboard Christmas Card Memory Book Simple DIY Holiday Storage Labels DIY Vinyl Frame Calendar with {FREE CUT FILE} Ribbons & Tapes Upcycled Organizing Box Print and Cut Pantry Labels

    1. Please Excuse My Craftermath… // 2. Simply Kelly Designs // 3. Daily Dwelling // 4. Ginger Snap Crafts // 5. Our Southern Home // 6. Sowdering About // 7. The Moberg Family // 8. Decor Adventures // 9. Pineapples and Pinecones // 10. Patina Paradise // 11. The Thinking Closet // 12. It Happens in a Blink // 13. Adventures in All Things Food // 14. From Wine to Whine // 15. Practically Functional // 16. Dragonfly & Lily Pads // 17. unOriginal Mom // 18. One Dog Woof // 19. Creative Ramblings // 20. My Favorite Finds // 21. Create it. Go! // 22. A Prudent Life // 23. Where The Smiles Have Been // 24. Barb's Life // 25. Everyday Paper // 26. Pitter and Glink // 27. Peanut Life Adventures // 28. Feto Soap Blog // 29. Our Rosey Life // 30. Two Purple Couches // 31. My Paper Craze // 32. TitiCrafty // 33. Lil Mrs Tori

  • Scripture Summer!

    I’ll never forget the moment that, after weeks of battling the same problem with Elliott, I had a massive revelation.

    “The Scripture doesn’t say that my parenting techniques will not come back void…it says, ‘The WORD will not come back void.’” (Isaiah 55:11)

    I don’t know how I got two years into the whole parenting thing without ever having that thought occur to me, but it was profound for me, and surely an act of mercy from the Lord.

    Elliott had (for the most part) been an incredibly kind and loving big brother towards Selah her entire 7 months of existence. But somehow, right around after he turned 2, he began experimenting with some behaviors towards her; as in, “What will happen if I kick her in the head as hard possible?”

    Clearly, clearly…NOT OKAY.

    She had JUST started pulling up onto furniture, and she loved being close by Elliott. So many times when he was sitting in his chair eating a meal or a snack, she would crawl over, pull herself up onto the chair, and he would kick her little head until she fell over.

    We were at a loss. We had tried everything, and he wasn’t changing. If you know me, you know I have quite a bit of patience towards my kids regarding character development issues…I just recognize that many, many things will probably take YEARS for them to have true heart-change in. But, BUT…this particular issue needed to change IMMEDIATELY.

    But, I’m not going to talk about exactly how he changed, because my point is something far more important: that THE WORD OF GOD WILL NOT COME BACK VOID. 

    Another “incident” had just occurred and I remember kneeling on the ground, holding Elliott gently by his shoulders and pleading with him to stop, using words like “being nice” and “that’s not nice” and etc., etc. I had just taught the Kids Church lesson a few hours earlier to Elliott and all of his little buddies and it was about the good Samaritan. I suddenly paused and that’s when the revelation hit me: Why am I using such “powerless” words, when I could be speaking the very words of Life, that are promised to return in power.

    EVERYTHING changed about my speech that day. No longer do I tell Elliott to do things “because I said so” or “because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do”…but I am teaching him to act according to God’s Word. It is THE ONLY thing that will not return void.

    This is our heart for our children:

    9 For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing [Him], being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; 12 giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13 He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed [us] into the kingdom of the Son of His love, 14 in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him. 17 And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. 18 And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. 19 For it pleased [the Father that] in Him all the fullness should dwell, 20 and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross. … 27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. 29 To this [end] I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily. [Col 1:9-20, 27-29 NKJV]

    Yes, we MUST teach our children that ALL things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. Our children must form their worldviews around this Truth. And so they MUST know the Scriptures, and how THE SCRIPTURES should shape their thinking and their actions. This is a great endeavor, obviously, that will take a lifetime to begin to teach, but I am amazed at how much it has pressed ME to know the Word more, because I need to have a specific answer on my tongue! I need to be able to teach them what God says about the generous person when they are confronted with sharing issues. I need to be able to recite by memory what God says will happen when they obey their parents when we have a moment (or a hundred) of defiance in a day. I need to be able to tell them what Jesus said about love when they are not treating each other lovingly. I must know what He says, so they will know what He says. There was a season where I taught the kids a Proverb a day and it was so helpful for ME. I read one chapter a day, picked one verse from that chapter, wrote it up on the white board in our playroom, and taught it to them first thing in the morning. It’s amazing how many Proverbs are the solution to almost every conflict between the kids :).

    I was struck by the simplicity of Romans 12 as a concise “handbook” for (some of) the ways of the Lord a few months ago, and decided I wanted to memorize a chunk of the chapter with the kids over the Summer. My goal was 13 verses, and we got through 6, which I was very pleased with :). We started out with Psalm 128:1 (“Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways.”), and I prefaced the whole series by talking about how we must understand that God says we will be blessed when we walk in His ways, and it is of utmost importance that we regard Him with utter holiness, with complete resolve that He is THE WAY. Then we went on to learn about what some of those “ways” are by memorizing Romans 12: 9-13.

    9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. [Rom 12:9-13 NIV]

    It was SO HELPFUL in my daily parenting, because not only did I have specific (powerful!) language (that won’t return void!!!!) to use with the kids during conflicts and disrespect, but because it helped form my prayers. Many times throughout the day, my prayer is, “Oh, dear, Lord. Have mercy.” (Anyone else have prayers like that during the day??)  But when I am focusing on a specific Scripture a day or a week, my prayers are filled with more vision and more faith. “Oh, Lord…please turn Elliott’s heart to TRULY honor his sister above himself.”

    Since we’ve entered the “3s,” whining has been one of our biggest battles. I will admit, when I am SO worn out from the constant whining, I usually just look at Elliott with pleading eyes and beg, “You’re killing me. You’ve GOT to stop whining!!” Hmm, as you can imagine, not the most effective or mature parenting technique :). So I was SUPER excited when we hit the verse that tells us we are never to be lacking in zeal. Finally, I had biblical language to tackle this whining monster. I did lots of role plays with him and we acted out what it looks like to be lacking in zeal and what it looks like to keep our spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Oh, my, did it help, thanks to the grace of God!!! The monster FOR SURE still rears its ugly head daily, but Elliott’s taken a lot of ground.

    So, my mama friends–I wanted to share the Scripture verse cards that I made in case you’d like to use them! (Why reinvent the wheel?!) We worked on one verse a week, and usually by the end of the day or at least by day 2, Elliott had each one memorized. Selah (at almost 2) runs around singing, “Walk in His ways!!” which I LOVE. Yes, my dear, that’s exactly right…let’s be devoted to walking in His ways.

    Click on the picture below to download all 6 verse cards!

    Blog Pic
    Verse Cards

    Want to do this with your kids but not a “natural” teacher?

    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I promise!!! Here are 6 simple tips for you:

    1. Read the Word and allow the Lord to STIR YOU!

    If you are excited, they will be excited, too. If you know me, you know this comes awfully naturally to me–you KNOW that if something has changed my life, I will tell you about it so it can change yours, too!! 🙂 More often than not, I have taught my kids a new verse just because I was reading the Word and was so stirred I couldn’t help but share it with them. Even if we don’t do an entire “lesson” on the verse and memorize it, I trust that it’s being deposited in their hearts. When this happens, I call them over and say, “Kids! Come listen to this!!!! Listen to what God promises us!!!” So, this may go without saying, but when God has stirred YOUR heart with His Word, that is the first step for your childrens’ hearts to be stirred as well. When they see YOU moved by His word, it shows them practically what a changed heart really looks like.

    2. Call your kids over to come sit down and learn the Word of God!

    If you have carpet squares or one piece of paper for each child or a chair for each child or SOMETHING the kids can sit on so they know their job is to sit and listen, that is VERY helpful.

    3. Songs, Visuals, examples and role-plays are helpful!

    I always try to have my bible with me so they can really SEE that everything I’m teaching them comes straight from the Word of God. (I remember getting to college and re-reading the bible with new eyes, and being SHOCKED at how much Scripture I knew from songs, liturgy, etc, that I hadn’t realized was SCRIPTURE! Isn’t that crazy?! But it held a WEIGHTINESS to it once I found out it was THE LIVING WORD OF GOD versus just some lyrics to a song that a writer scribbled on a piece of paper. It is SO important to me that my kids understand that the things I say and the rules I give them come from GOD, not just my own good ideas.) Even when I have a verse card printed out, I read the verse out of my bible first. Then, I show them the verse card and talk through each word/phrase with them, pointing out how the pictures show the meaning of the words. We then hang it up where they can see it.

    Our six verses, all in a row.

    My kids are YOUNG (almost 2 and 3) so I need to use lots of visual and acting to help them understand the meaning of each verse. Obviously, the older your kids are, the less visuals and acting you will need, but these things are still VERY useful for teaching ALL kids how to really APPLY Scripture to their daily lives.

    Here’s an example:

    Verse: Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

    What I said: Okay, kids, listen to what God says: “Love must be SINCERE.” Can you say “sincere?” Sincere means really, really, really MEANING what you do. So if you ask me to play with the toy I’m playing with and I say, “Fine! Take it!! Hmmph!!!” and throw the toy at you, I did the “right” thing, but I wasn’t loving you like God defines love. My love wasn’t sincere. Now if you ask me to play with a toy I’m playing with, and my heart really DOES want you to have the joy of playing with it, too, then my heart sincerely wants to love you. In that case, I could say, “Oh! You want to play with it, too?! Sure!!” That means my love was sincere, and that means I am walking in God’s ways.

    Since my kids are so little, I keep the “lesson” to less than 5 minutes long. I had to break the initial teaching of this verse up into two days since the idea of “sincere love” was complex enough to fill 5 minutes. The next day we talked a lot about what evil is, and what it means to run away from it (lots of funny role plays!!) and what it means to CLING to something that is good.

    SING!!!! How much easier is it to remember something when it’s put to music??!! I hope you know about Seeds Family Worship…they are AWESOME. They sing Scriptures! We have listened to “The Good Song” probably hundreds of times: “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways!” The kids and I often worship together, singing at the top of our lungs, dancing around our living room, sometimes with instruments in hands. I love worshiping the Lord with my kids!!!

    4. Teach it on day 1 (and sometimes day 2) and then use the language of the Scripture as often as you can throughout the week (and forever!).

    I only had the kids “sit” for a “lesson” on the days that I initially introduced the verse and its meaning, which took 1-2 days. Then, the “teaching” of it was much more “organic” throughout the week in that I would point out how that Scripture occurred throughout our day. Anytime the kids do something according to the Scripture I am sure to point it out to them. “Oh, Elliott! The way you just shared that toy with Selah was truly sincere love! Thank you for loving her so sincerely! That blesses God and it blesses me!! How does your heart feel when you see how blessed Selah is?! Isn’t it awesome to walk in God’s ways??!!”

    Or, if they were having a hard time, I would use the same biblical language with them. The MOST often used one this Summer has been: “Oh, buddy…are you devoted to Selah in love right now? Are you making sure that you are honoring her above yourself?”

    It’s SO HELPFUL for them to see how the Word is in all things and before all things…they need to understand how Scripture is RELEVANT to their daily lives and actions, and they need to SEE how to apply it. Like I said earlier, this will take a lifetime, so we’d best start early!! 🙂

    We would say our verses together every time we were driving or sometimes when we were sitting and playing and we would always tell Daddy when he got home from work what our verse of the week was. This is actually Elliott’s favorite verse and I catch him ALL the time saying, “Hate what is evil, cling to what is good.” YES!!

    5. Always, in everything, teach them about Christ

    There is no sense in teaching any of these things without also teaching the Gospel. Our children must understand that it is only by the grace of God that we can escape sin, thanks to Jesus Christ. We have worked hard on this with Elliott. I’ll never forget one day that I looked at him and said, “Elliott, you are the only one who can choose to obey. You’ve got to do this. You’ve got to choose to obey!” And before I had barely finished talking, he interrupted me and said, “NO!! Jesus and GOD help me obey!!” I remember taking a deep breath, realizing that my frustration had gotten the better of me, and told him, “Buddy, you are right. Let’s pray together. We BOTH need the Lord’s help to obey Him.”

    6. PRAY, never-ceasingly

    The moment I knew I had to start training, teaching, and disciplining Elliott (long before he was 1), I have been faithfully praying for HIS HEART to turn towards obedience to God. The LAST THING IN THE WORLD we want are children who “do what the bible says” but do not really LOVE God. Scripture is so clear: When we love God, we obey His commands. Children are so tricky because we must teach them to obey (“…train your child in the way he should go…”) long before they have a sincere love for God. But I am faithful to pray for their hearts to turn EVERY time I teach, train or discipline. Because it’s not ME that’s going to turn their hearts to love the Lord; it’s the Holy Spirit. So, I would exhort you: Never teach without praying. Always pray as you teach.

    Remember the verse from above: For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing [Him], being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God…

    KEEP ON KEEPING ON, MAMAS!!!! May the Lord fill you with STRENGTH!!! And FAITH!!!! May YOU, by the grace of God, never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor as you serve your children and in doing so, are serving the Lord!!!!!

     

  • SeaWorld, Canines, and Proverbs 29:17

    SeaWorld, Canines, and Proverbs 29:17

    We had probably seen “Pets Rule!,” a captivating, delightful, and highly-entertaining show at SeaWorld at least a dozen times. Elliott has always been quite taken by dogs and animals of all sorts, and this show was FULL of them—dogs, cats, pigs, ducks, you-name-its–all moving to the beat of the music while performing incredible stunts. Perfectly trained animals, clearing having the time of their lives as they showed off their mad skills while the audience cheered loudly with admiration, awe, and excitement.

    Pets Rule!

    So there we were, probably the thirteenth time in, and we got to THEE PART. You know, thee part…? Where they cue the touching music and make their speech at the end? Well, the woman had barely spoken the first three words of her monologue before the tears began to ROLL out of my eyes.

    “…But you know, not all the animals you see here today were always so happy and healthy. As a matter of fact, some of the pets you have just seen perform, like Fresco or Casey, were either surrendered by their owners or picked up off the streets and taken to shelters and had no one to care for them. Take Chad. His owners gave up on him. They said, ‘He had too much energy and couldn’t be trained.’ Well, as you can see, Chad is very well behaved. Chad responded to every instruction he was given, jumped through hoola hoops and over obstacles and threw balls into hoops…”

    Chad was not just “trainable.” Chad had been trained to be an extraordinary dog. A dog who performed amazing feats and tricks that most dogs will never do in their lives. His teachability and talent were clearly qualities that had been inside of him all long…it’s just that he had been given up on.

    My lip quivered like a small child and I finally stopped trying to hold it in. Brian looked at me, incredulous. “Are you…crying??” he whispered in total awe. “What is wrong??

    “It’s just…it’s just…” I blubbered. “It’s just that this speech gets me every time!!”

    Now, just to be clear, I’m not really an “animal” person. I mean, they’re great and all, and I love watching them do cool tricks and I’m happy for my friends who have pets that they love…but they’re not really my thing. So, as sad as it is that there are pets who have been abandoned and given up on, my heart beats for a bigger thing…my heart beats for the children who have been abandoned and given up on.

    The speech…the speech about Chad and the other abandoned animals…It’s such a reflection of how our world views kids these days…how parents, teachers, society view our children. Unruly children, exasperated parents. You see it everywhere. Children in the grocery stores, throwing fits and screaming at their parents; parents throwing fits and screaming right back at their children. Children abandoned…everywhere. Physically, emotionally, spiritually…abandoned. They have not been trained. Where are the parents?? Where are the fathers?? Where are the mothers?? Where are the ones who will, instead of giving up on “unruly, impossible, nothing-can-be-done” children, go to their knees and ask God for His grace to understand the Word—where every piece of wisdom needed to parent in righteousness can be found? What I have heard over and over from parents is, “He is too out of control. There’s nothing to be done.” Why is it that the moment someone hears I have a 2-year-old, their expectation is never that he would be the delight that he is, but instead that he would fall right into the “the norm,” which is, “naturally,” that he would be a “terrible two-er”? Why are the “terrible twos” considered a “normal,” “expected” part of aging? I have a hard time believing that Jesus would have walked by a “terrible two-er” and said, “Oh, yeah…just get used to it. There’s nothing to be done…just carry on, and hope that age 3 comes quickly.” Yet this is what we seem to believe as a society.

    I encountered it in teaching every day. A father who would roll his eyes while talking about his daughter (in front of her) and telling me how impossible her attitude was to deal with. A mother who labeled her son “devil child,” and then was filled with rage when he lived up to her expectation.

    And over and over I saw—the root of the problem was not the kid. The root of the problem was that the kid was not trained. The kid had been abandoned—emotionally, physically, spiritually—and now was unruly. Over and over parents threw their kids at me each day telling me they were impossible. But a little training, coated in a lot of love, went a LONG way.

    Unfortunately, a teacher can most often only go a “long” way…it is very difficult to go the entire way. That’s the parents’ jobs. To love and train their children relentlessly and diligently their entire lives.

    But I see it in homes, too. Homes where the parents deeply love their children and love the Lord, yet have resigned to certain aspects of exasperation because “aren’t kids just exasperating?” It’s what we’ve been taught. Parenting is already the most difficult job that there is, and I want to breathe HOPE into you that it’s NOT your lot to live with exasperating behavior, rebellion and disrespect!! It’s not good for you OR your child! God promises us more!! I have observed this resignation in many, many families where the parents (excellent, excellent parents) just didn’t have vision for this “more.” This is what grieves my heart—like the owners who gave up on Chad because he was “untrainable,” I see parents, my friends, who are at the end of their ropes, exasperated and fed up. Unlike Chad’s parents, at least they don’t send their toddlers to the streets (haha), but they do not search out for more in their homes because of this stereotype that babies/toddlers/kids can’t be trained and are just meant to be frustrating their first few years of life. It grieves my heart because I know that’s not their heart for their kids and I know they are not living in the fullness with real vision. Vision that there truly could be peace. That the fruits of the Spirit could, indeed, be alive and active in their homes…even—even—in a home filled with babies and toddlers (and more).

    I don’t condemn Chad’s previous owners—that’s not the point. But there’s this piece of my heart that wonders what could have been for them, had they had vision to really train him. I imagine he would have brought an enormous amount of joy into their home.

    Elliott, taking great delight in this incredibly sweet, well-trained pup.

    So to say that I am passionate about the training of children unto righteousness, godliness, holiness and practically, unto respect, self-control, and love probably doesn’t do my passion justice. But if you have spent even five minutes around me, with my kids or any others, my passion will probably be quite obvious. I am inserting a mini series of “Training” posts within my “Victorious Parenting” series because, I believe, training is fundamental to being a victorious parent.

    I know this because I know this is God’s heart for us as his children and also for us as parents. Not only does he say, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6), but THE ENTIRE BIBLE is filled with training. Instruction. Teaching. If we neglect to train our children, we neglect to understand God’s heart in many areas of our own lives and the lives of our family. And that, my friends, is a big deal.

    So, I will leave you with this: Proverbs 29:17 (in several different versions) to breathe some hope.

    Discipline your son, and he will give you resthe will give delight to your heart. (ESV)

    Discipline your children, and they will give you peacethey will bring you the delights you desire. (NIV)

    Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad. (NLT)

    Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul. (NASB)

    Now doesn’t that sound nice?!?!

    The following is from a commentary I read on this verse: “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest,… Ease of mind, satisfaction and contentment, freedom from all anxious thoughts and cares; the correction being taken in good part, and succeeding according to wish and design; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul; by his tenderness to his parents, obedience to them, and respect for them; by his prudent behaviour among men; by his sobriety, diligence, and industry in his calling; by his fear of God, and walking in his ways; than which nothing can give a greater delight and pleasure to religious parents.” 

     This Scripture speaks to a picture of a child who is disciplined, trained…a child who brings peace rather than chaos. My children are far from perfect. (Perfect will never be my goal.) But I will tell you with confidence—they are trained (and, obviously, will need to continue to be trained every day for the rest of their lives). This Scripture could not ring more true in our home, as Brian and I say to each other constantly, “Our children are so delightful!!” Not because they act perfectly all the time (again, not the goal), but because so much of the time, our children are, indeed, tender to us, obedient to us, have respect for us…Selah, even at 16 months old exhibits all of these behaviors on a regular basis. By the grace of God, in these early years where selfishness and tantrums are very real battles, our kids are already delights to our souls. And they did not just COME like that, like some people assume :). It has taken a LOT of training…but wow, have we seen fruit from that training!! Every day I am grateful for what we have invested in their early months and years, because it surely brings delight to our souls every single day. My heart is not to boast in anything I have done (because it was only through utter weakness and hours of prayer on my knees that I came to understand many of these truths), but only to boast in the truth of the Scriptures that promise us that when we train up our children according to the Word, there will be good fruit.

    So, let’s join together and grab hold of the GOOD NEWS!! I hope you will join me on this journey to explore what God says about training our children unto godliness! I hope you will join me on this journey of HOPE as we take the Word at His word! Stay tuned for the next post: “It’s Not You, It’s Me.”