The Moberg Family

Author: Susanne

  • 9 Months of Glory

    9 Months of Glory

    Well, Elliott has –almost–officially been out of my tummy longer than he was in it! On December 20, Elliott turned 9 months old! 9 months of watching this perfect little baby grow into a perfect bigger baby…9 months of cuddling him and rocking him and documenting every milestone…AND…not to mention, 9 MONTHS OF NOT THROWING UP!!! Yahoo!!!

    I love how every month we learn something new about Elliott’s personality, or see it to a greater degree. Elliott continues to love meeting new people and getting strangers to smile at and fall in love with him. Last month, although he was doing “wave-like” motions, I wasn’t quite ready to declare that my son was intentionally waving. Well, for the last several weeks, there is no doubt about it–he is a waving machine! And he waves to every person, new or old, that he sees.

    One of Elliott’s passions has absolutely taken over life this last month–handling small objects. He loves the “pincer grasp.” He is SO in tune to itty bitty things…he will literally go after a piece of thread from 15 feet away. He also LOVES small pieces of trash. What kind of mom lets her baby play with small, chokable things? Well, this mom does. And do you know why? Because he refuses to put them in his mouth! And I know you are thinking I must be so fortunate that he doesn’t want to put small things in his mouth…and I am, until it comes to trying to get him to put REAL FOOD in his mouth, and he gags until he throws it back up.

    Look at the terror/disgust in his eyes as I offer him a puff:

    "You want me to put that puff WHERE?"
    "In my MOUTH? You've GOT to be kidding me…"
    "Blech! No way!!"

    When I was pregnant, someone said to me, “You know, the way your pregnancy has been so rough will probably have some sort of reflection on what Elliott is going to be like…like, he’ll probably have a really bad gag reflex or something.”

    Why anyone in her right mind would say that to a woman who had been throwing up for 9 months will remain in the mystery box forever. But, quite unfortunately, it looks like she was right…this poor child has already thrown up twice when there was a tiny little “chunk” in his baby food…

    Okay, on to some fun highlights from the last month:

    Elliott opened his first Christmas gift at all staff Christmas party that we got to be a part of while in Tijuana for the two weeks before Christmas.

    All of the kids got a special gift
    Distracted by the super cool used napkin in his hand.
    "Oooh, there was something INSIDE the paper?!"
    "I LIKE this whole present tradition!"

    Elliott had his first stab at climbing stairs at my parents’ house, and he went right up them without any hesitation. He loves to climb!

    Climbing the stairs with Fable
    Made it to the top!

    Elliott CLIMBS all the time…on EVERYTHING…it’s so fun! He loves to pull himself up onto everything and walk along anything he can.

    Helping us pack in the DR before leaving for Tijuana.
    Climbing is so fun!

     

    First time in snow!

    Gently placing Elliott in the snow…
    UTTER AND COMPLETE SHOCK
    AND…some tears
    Okay, LOTS of tears…

    I know, I know…we’re terrible. But we had to get a picture of it.

    First time meeting the Smiths!

    Cousins Andrew & Courtney and Aunt Joanne & Uncle Jim

    And, last but not least…a few favorites from this last month:

    Baa!
    Sweet smile
    Cute face
    Man on a mission
    Yeah, he's cute.
    He-ey!

     

    Happy 9 months out of the womb, sweet baby Elliott!!

  • The Greatest, The One

    The Greatest, The One

    Matthew 18

    At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me…. See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.“


    The first time I walked to the Haitian Refugee camp, it was the smell that hit me first. 

    I would recognize the smell anywhere. The smell of “house” after “house” crammed into tight spaces, adjacent to a garbage dump…the smell of mismatched cardboard or slabs of tin that form the walls and the roof of each said “house,” each piece carefully overlapping the one next to keep the rain, wind, and sun out as best as possible. The smell of hungry children and runny noses and congested lungs… The smell of eyes longing for love, arms longing for an embrace, hands longing to be held. It’s the smell of poverty. Poverty of environment and poverty of spirit.

    This is one of the nicer houses

    And every time I walk into a place like this, I am struck with the same sentiment–I am not enough. I am not enough, the five friends with me are not enough, the games we’ve brought to play are not enough…we are simply not enough.

    The first week I was there we painted the girls’ fingernails and played jump rope with them. 

    Juliana

    It’s difficult enough for me to dig up the language in my brain that has been dormant way too long, let alone understand these sweet children’s Spanish, which is not only their second language but also “Dominican” Spanish–which is quite different than Spain and Mexican Spanish. I can’t give them anything… I can barely communicate with them, and their needs are far too great.

    So we sat there on the ground and painted these little girls’ toes and fingers…one by one, they chose a color and held out their hands. Is this enough? I don’t want to paint their nails–I want to buy them new clothes and give them healthy food and build them a home with electricity and running water…I want to give them an education and disciple them in the ways of the Lord…I want them to know they are loved, I mean really, really loved–by God. And I want them to really be loved by their friends and family. But all I held in my hand was a cheap bottle of nail polish. And my heart cried.

    I am not enough.

    And He whispered to me, “But you hold the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven.”

    And so I prayed. I prayed with every stroke of the mini brush. I prayed with the faith that every prayer I prayed would not only be answered, but answered quickly. I had no choice but to pray that way–I had nothing else to offer.

    One little girl was dubbed “the mean girl.”

    Beautiful one

    She would provoke all the others by hitting them, messing up their freshly painted nails, stealing the nail polish, spilling it every where. And then she would cry…and cry and cry…when someone hit her back or she didn’t get what she wanted. I was told she’s always like this. She was out of control.

    I didn’t have anything to offer her. My attempts to love her were rashly pushed away with cries and swats. She was difficult to communicate with and she had no intention of communicating with anyone anyway. I didn’t have weeks of relationship built up with her so she could trust me. I didn’t have a corner to put her in for a time out. I didn’t know if that would be the last time I ever saw her. And my heart flooded with tears.

    I am simply not enough.

    And so I prayed. I prayed as if this was the only time she would ever be prayed for–I prayed for her past to be healed, for her present to be rich, for her future to be set upon the straight and narrow. I prayed with deep unction and conviction. I prayed, believing every word uttered under my breath was answered the moment it hit the air. I didn’t have the option to pray any other way.

    Then there was Jonathan.

    His nickname is "Chiquito"

    He was constantly held the whole time he was with us and never uttered a word. We had to take him home after the program, and I got to hold him on my lap. Adrienne told me his story as she drove and as I listened to his congested breaths slowly go in and out…in and out…He was so thin, and so sick. She said that his mom abandoned his family when he was a toddler and so his father is his only caretaker. Yet he doesn’t actually take care of him…because he works every day. The neighbor woman told Adrienne to watch him carefully–since no one watches over him, the other kids rough him up whenever they can. He is so hungry. He is not well. He doesn’t waste his energy on speaking or running or playing–no, he uses the small amount of strength he has to lift his arms up towards anyone who will notice him, asking to be held. His eyes, his heart…long to be embraced. And there, in that moment, I had a 5 minute car ride with Jonathan. I knew it was my only window. And my heart sobbed.

    I am not even nearly enough.

    And so I prayed as my heart cried. It’s impossible to describe the agony of the ache in my heart for this precious child. How can he have a chance in this world? You know he wasn’t rocked when he cried. You know he didn’t nap and sleep well as a baby. You know no one was there to greet him with the biggest smile and warmest embrace every time he woke up. You know no one reads him books every night. You know no one sings to him. You know no one has taught him how to count. You know no one (on earth) has been speaking truth over him ever since the day he was born. I held the tears back as I asked God for big things for His son. I prayed for healing to consume his physical body and his emotional mind and his sensitive heart. I prayed for his salvation. I prayed for provision of every type. I prayed for love to surround him. I prayed every short minute that I had with Jonathan…because I knew that was the best thing I could do for him…

    It is times like these that I wonder if it would just be easier to look away; to not acknowledge and turn my face towards the massive suffering and injustice in this world. Because it is all-consuming and overwhelming to choose to invest my heart in the lives of those who suffer and have need.

    That is, until I can fixate my mind on the Truth of the cross, and the truth of our Savior who goes out of His way to love the one. And that’s all. Why do I underestimate that I am one, loving one? Over and over my God speaks to the importance and impact of just one. Especially one of the little ones. He calls children “the greatest”… God thinks Jonathan, this one, is the greatest. And so when I remember his eyes, I must not just remember the loneliness, the abandonment, the sorrow, and the pain…no, I must remember that his angel sees the face of our Father in Heaven. He is not forgotten.

    Because my God is enough…yes, HE is enough…He is enough for these children. There is too much need for my two hands. But He…yes–HE–is enough. He is always enough. And, just like the bible lesson I preached to those kids that day–HE in ME is greater than THE ONE in the world…HE in ME is enough.

    I, with the power of Christ living in me, am enough...

     

    …Because the one is enough. The one is the greatest.

    He is one God, who sent one Son, who left with us one Spirit.

    For one lost sheep.

    For one sandwich for the woman who hasn’t eaten.

    For one home built for the family who didn’t have one.

    For one toy for the child who has nothing.

    For one bible lesson for the girl who had never heard the Truth.

    For one gospel presentation for the boy who didn’t know Jesus.

    For one prayer lifted up in faith.

    For one person choosing not to avert her eyes when she sees the brokenness.

    For one believer who says, “Yes” to the call of God.

    For one…for the one who goes.

    “Here am I, Lord, just one. Send me.”


  • Jesus Loves Elliott

    Elliott has a “Jesus Loves Me” book, which we read or sing to him almost every night. One day Brian was playing with Elliott and started singing the song. Elliott dropped his toys and immediately started looking for the book, and then found it! We decided to put it beneath another book and see if he could do it again. He did! So we pulled out the video camera and tried again, and sure enough…

     

    We tried it again the next night, but made it a little trickier for him…we hid the book behind him beneath two other books…and here’s what happened:

     

    He was exactly 8 months old in these videos. This is a testimony to how much babies actually DO know at a very young age!! Aren’t little ones amazing?! I have been inspired to a whole new degree to set high expectations for Elliott. Isn’t our God incredible in how he created little ones?! God wasn’t kidding when He said, “From the mouths of babes and infants He has ordained praise!”

     

  • San Pedro Snap Shot

    Here’s a snap shot of our time in the Dominican Republic, serving with YWAM San Pedro!

     

    Brian worked on lots of projects around the base. Here’s a picture I took through our window as he installed some security lights around the property of the base.

    He makes it look so easy…

    He also tagged along with a staff member interviewing various pastors and leaders around the community to get a feel for how YWAM San Pedro can best partner with each of the ministries and organizations. Brian then compiled all of that information so it was in an organized and easy-to-reference and sort database.

    The staff has been visiting a Haitian Refugee Community, called El Tanque, for the last several months. They have been faithful to come, play games with the kids, paint fingernails, and sometimes even bring a little treat.

    Playing "Duck, Duck, Goose"

    A couple months back, the YWAM staff helped the men in El Tanque build these soccer goals. One week, we joined them for a game of soccer and I–yes, I–played too! And scored two goals!!

    futbol
    Oh yeah
    GOAL!

    As much as they all enjoyed visiting the kids at El Tanque each week, they wanted to do something more organized and formal but weren’t sure how to get something like that started. So, I had the opportunity to help the staff implement a children’s program in El Tanque.

    Here are some pictures of me teaching during the program that we got up and running in 3 weeks!

    Teaching on how Jesus loves the little children

    Johally was my faithful translator. Although I feel okay about general conversational Spanish, I wasn’t quite ready to invest the time it would have taken to really make sure I could communicate the bible lesson in Spanish. Soon though :).

    I love this picture…with our little ones right behind us!

     

    And here’s a video of me helping Adrienne, Rafaelito and Sthefany while they lead worship.

     

     

    Well, there’s a quick snap shot of some of the ministry we were a part of while serving in San Pedro!

  • Thankful…still!

    This post is a little late, but since we’re STILL thankful, I figured it would be okay to post a post-Thanksgiving post :). (How many times and different ways can YOU use “post” in a sentence?)

    We had a very unique Thanksgiving this year! The staff wanted to celebrate, despite the fact that we were in a country that doesn’t recognize the holiday. The only problem? No one knew how to cook a turkey. So the Mobergs, turkey extraordinaires, spoke up and volunteered to cook the turkey for the staff and the Dominican family of 5 who would be joining us.

    We prepped the turkey and put it into the oven.

    Brian, Elliott, and me preparing the turkey

    Then we went for a swim!

    …because what else do you do while the turkey is cooking?
    My little turkey shark 🙂

    And then we got ready to eat!

    Carving the turkey!

    We made the juicy turkey, bomb mashed potatoes, and boat loads of gravy. And–THANKFULLY–it all turned out quite deliciously!!

    Our plates! Mmmm!!

    And here we all are, sooo stuffed!!!

    The Crew (Danny & Danae, we miss you!)

    This was our…

    …first Thanksgiving with our sweet baby Elliott!

    …first Thanksgiving in a foreign country.

    …first Thanksgiving where we went for a swim outside while the turkey cooked.

    …first Thanksgiving where it was hot enough to wear a skirt to dinner.

    …first Thanksgiving eating with a group of strangers who we now call friends!

    Happy late Thanksgiving to you!

  • You know you’re a missionary in YWAM San Pedro when…

    I wrote this for a newsletter for the YWAM base here and thought I’d share it! All of them apply to Brian and me except for the first one… Enjoy!

    You know you’re a missionary in YWAM San Pedro when…

    -you can say you’ve built 9 homes for 9 families who didn’t have one before you arrived.

    -it’s a normal part of your week to bring love and the Word of God to a group of Haitian refugees.

    -your cool-down at the end of a long, hard day is jumping into the glorious pool in your front yard.

    -driving a vehicle on the local roadways no longer has clear, uniform rules…it’s more of a free-for-all sport.

    -a long, wooden stick with a hook at the end doesn’t remind you of Captain Hook, but rather makes your mouth water for the delicious coconut it’s about to knock down.

    -bug spray serves as your perfume or cologne.

    -your room registers at 82 degrees Fahrenheit and you comment on how cool it is.

    -the beautiful Caribbean Ocean is only a 10 minute walk away.

    -you find yourself playing “Where’s Waldo” throughout the day with the chameleons that scamper about.

    -you have learned the mastery of speaking in short sentences because everything you say has to be translated.

    -the smile on a child’s face and the embrace of a warm hug is more-than-enough to transcend every language barrier.

  • He’s not a baby in a cradle anymore…

    He’s not a baby in a cradle anymore…

    On Elliott’s 8 month birthday (November 20), he woke us up bright and early (as has become tradition ever since living in the Dominican Republic) at 5 am. How did he wake us up? Not by crying. But by standing up in his crib, walking himself around 2 corners and 3 sides to get to the side parallel to our bed, pulled the blanket out that we tuck underneath the mosquito net so he can’t see through the side of his crib (so if he wakes up early and we’re not ready to get him, he won’t see us), and peered his beautiful blue eyes which were brimming with a huge smile over his neon green pack n’ play.

    Like this:

    “Good morning! Happy 8 month birthday to me!”

    And the line from a Misty Edward’s song rang through my head with slightly different lyrics: “He’s not a baby in a cradle anymore…”

    I can’t believe how much Elliott has grown up. I can’t believe how much more we love him with every glance. I’m still not quite sure how we got the most incredible baby boy ever created, but I don’t even ask…I just thank God every single time I set my eyes upon my Elliott, every single time he comes to mind, every single time I get to hold him & hug him, laugh with him & play with him, read to him & sing to him…

    He has certainly grown up this month! Elliott has accomplished so much in his 8 months of life!

    elliott has now been to three different countries!

    The good ol’ US of A, Mexico, and now the Dominican Republic! This is us at the airport, about to get onto a red eye flight to Miami, where we laid over for a couple hours and then hopped on over to Santo Domingo.

    Getting a little sleep before hopping onto the plane…
    …and waking up and getting a little play time before hopping on a plane 🙂
    This is the sign that greeted us upon our arrival
    I think Elliott looks just like the Dominican child, don’t you?

     

    waving

    So, I”m not quite ready to say that he’s entirely waving on purpose, but it sure does seem like he is! For a few months he’s had this habit of hitting something over and over with his right hand…he loves discovering things like that. But just in this last month, he’s been doing that same motion in more of a “wave” right when he greets someone. Here he was “waving” at me while playing with one of his new bffs, Jose Luis.

    “He-ey!”

     

    elliott has mastered the art of pulling himself up onto everything & playing on tile floors

    I’ll be honest…the tile floors FREAKED me out when we first got here…Elliott had just learned to crawl a few days before we got here and so I was terrified we were going to end up in the ER in need of stitches. But–it’s been so incredible to see how well he’s learned how to move, and how much more in control of his body he is! We rearranged our room so he could have a fairly big space to crawl around without too many sharp corners and laid a mattress down on the ground so he’d have a padded place to play, too. He climbs up (and down!) on the mattress with incredible ease…I am so impressed. 🙂

     favorites

    Elliott’s starting to have “favorites”…which, of course, are mostly the things that are not ACTUALLY toys! He’s also started carrying his toys with him everywhere he goes. I think it’s the cutest…he crawls and climbs with his toys in hand, and if he drops one, he always goes back to get it…

    He loves…

    this empty water bottle
    this hanger
    this ziplock bag (and his teething ring)
    all drawstrings, shoelaces, etc.

    Not pictured is one of his very favorites: a used package of wipes. What can I say? The kid loves plastic. Some of his favorite “real” toys are…

    his phone
    his keys
    his ducky ring set

     

    “mowgli”

    I’ve been calling Elliott “Mowgli” this month because he walks just like him! Isn’t this hilarious? I think it could be because of the tile floors, but who knows…

    Will the real Mowgli please stand up?

    Elliott “Mowgli” Moberg

     

    laughing

    I think I might say this every month 🙂 but one of my favorite parts of this month is just laughing with Elliott…Ahh, it’s the best!! I think he has the best sense of humor! The other day he was crawling under the desk and “hiding” so I was playing hide and seek with him and he just thought he was the funniest creature on earth every time he’d “hide” himself under the desk and I”d “find” him. We play so many fun games like that all day long…it is the best. We laugh so hard every day!!

    One of Elliott’s favorite “laughing friends” is Jose Luis…I’ve never seen Elliott laugh as quickly and naturally with anyone like he does with Jose Luis. It is so fun to watch Elliott make new friends!

    laughing with Dad

     

    first minor accident

    It was bound to happen eventually, right? Elliott was playing on the floor like usual and I think he just got ahead of himself and went face-first into the tile ground. He only cried for a few seconds, but as I pulled his head away from my shoulder after comforting him I saw this HUGE fat lip…so sad :(. It’s pretty hard to see in this picture, but look at the right half of his upper lip…little puffy lip :(. It was back to normal the next day. 🙂

    new teeth!

    For sure impossible to get a picture of it, but Elliott got his third and fourth teeth! He got his right and left incisor. The top two middle teeth are showing through the gums so they can’t be too far behind!

    He continues to chew on EVERYTHING…

     

    random fun

    And fnally, a few of my favorite cute pictures from this month…

    driving lesson

    Happy 8 months, my sweet, sweet boy. 

  • Welcome to the Caribbean!

    Several weekends ago, we took Elliott to swim and play at the beach for the first time! The YWAM base is a quick 10 minute walk from the beach…glory.

    And…!

    He hated it. Literally, hated it. Poor kid :(. He was terrified of the sand.

    Baby Shark was not a big fan of the sand…

    So, he took a nap with Dad while I played in the ocean with friends.

    Seriously now, could anything possibly be more darling??

    Then he joined me in the ocean:

    Now there's a little smile!

    He loved splashing in the ocean, but just really hated the wet sand…we even tried again after his nap! But we went back the next week and he had a blast playing in the dry sand…so…baby steps. Baby shark steps!

    Baby Shark, Mama Shark, Daddy Shark

     

     

  • Meet the Staff!

    MEET THE STAFF!

    Malcolm


    Malcolm is the leader of this base and is originally from England. He is a genius when it comes to strategy and logistical details. He has been serving in missions for over 18 years and personally recruited every staff member to pioneer this base! 

    Danny & Danae

    Danny and Danae were the first two staff members we met because they picked us up from the airport! Danae is originally from Olympia, which is a cool connection, and Danny is originally from Mexico. Danae has an incredible gift with kids (Elliott LIGHTS UP as soon as Danae walks into the room) and Danny is our amazing cook!

    Johally, Mitch & Keira (Kiki)
    Johally and Mitch have beautiful Kiki who lights up the base with her hilarious faces and super adorable personality. Johally and Mitch have been extremely influential here already, and have made some incredible connections with families and churches here in the Dominican Republic. They have a passion to do counseling type work with married couples. Kiki loves Elliott so much–so much so that she calls both Brian and me “Elliott.” I have to get a recording of the way she says Elliott because there may not be anything cuter in the entire world…
    Adrienne & Joe
    Adrienne and Joe are dating, and this is their dog Tormenta. She got lost during a bad storm and they found her when she was just 2 weeks old. Adrienne is an incredibly talented woman of God who is passionate about discipling and walking with women, teaching kickboxing classes, and empowering others with vision to run into their callings. Joe is an extremely loyal and faithful friend who powerfully encourages others and gleans awesome revelations from the Word of God. And, they are pretty darn cute together, aren’t they? 🙂


    Sthefany & Rafaelito

    Sthefany feeds Elliott his dinner every night :).


    Rafaelito & Sthefany live on this property with us. Their dad Rafael is the property caretaker (I don’t have a picture of him). They L-O-V-E Elliott! They come running when they see him and scoop him out of my arms. He loves the attention and having “a brother and sister” to play with him all the time. Sthefany feeds him his dinner every night, and is eager to help with him in every way she can. They don’t speak English, so I get to practice my Spanish with them all the time! They teach me lots of new words every day.

    Jose Luis
    Jose Luis is not officially staff here, but he volunteers here every so often. He is Dominican, and another fun person to practice speaking Spanish with. He was here the entire first week that we were here, so we all got to know him well. I have rarely seen Elliott laugh as hard as he does when he plays with Jose Luis. Jose Luis is a kind, tender, caring guy who serves and loves everyone around him all the time. 

  • It Could Be a lot Worse…

    Preface: This post is not for the faint of heart.
    ***

    Thank you for joining me for today’s episode of “It Could Be a Lot Worse.”

    Whenever I’m miserable, I always try to think of a way I could be more miserable, and it usually helps me take off my grumpy pants pretty quickly and move into gratitude. (As evidenced in a post I wrote over a year ago: The Journey to Mazatlan.)

    My mosquito bites are making me miserable*.

    If you’re ever in the mood to practice self control, fly yourself on over to the DR and shake hands with a few mosquitoes. And then after they have venomously sucked your blood and left dozen of marks on their new-found territory (aka, your epidermis), try not to scratch the bites. In fact, cut your fingernails so you can’t scratch the bites. So there you have it–the world’s most challenging lesson in self control.

    I know you’re going to think this must be an exaggeration, but I literally have WELL over 100 mosquito bites. I counted about a two weeks ago and I was at 79. By mid-morning of the next day I had at least 30 more. I’m sure I’m nearing 200, but I figured I’d estimate low for my sanity (and yours).

    So as miserable as I’ve been having all of these mosquitoes CONSTANTLY swarming around my body, the moment I start to get so annoyed that I’m tempted to cuss, (yes, I am actually that aggravated with them) I just think to myself, “This could be a lot worse. I could be warding off poisonous spiders at every turn…ugh….now that would be a lot worse.”

    And suddenly the sting of the mosquito itch bothers me a lot less. The buzzing of the mosquito wings makes me much less batty. And…here it comes: the the nuisance of my mosquito companions actually drives me toward gratitude. I mean, if I have to pick a battle, I would pick it with almost anything that has any number of legs OTHER than 8.

    So that brings us to the other night when we were all sitting around in the common area and Joe looks at me and says, “So have you seen a tarantula yet?”

    I’m pretty sure time came to a screeching halt, the earth quit rotating, and the moon quit illuminating light. I stared back at Joe blankly, “Excuse me?”

    “Have you seen a tarantula yet?”

    “I’m sorry…WHAT? You’re kidding me, right?”

    “No, not at all.” Joe says quite bluntly with his usual matter-of-fact way of communicating.

    I glanced at Adrienne, Joe’s girlfriend, to confirm whether or not he was pulling one of my mosquito-laden legs. “He’s right…” she said with an apologetic smile.

    “You only see them every once in a while,” he calmly explained.

    “How big are they?” I probed.

    With that, Joe kind of smiled and held his hands together to form a circle with about a 7” diameter.

    “You’re kidding me.”

    “Not at all,” Joe laughed.

    And that brings us to the next evening. It was a cool night (and what I mean by that is, I only had a thin layer of sweat covering me rather than beads of sweat dripping from every square inch of my body) so Brian decided to take a swim and I dangled my feet in the water beneath the moonlight to try and cool off my itchy legs that were burning as if they had literally been set on fire.

    The security guard was walking his normal rounds when suddenly he picked up his speed and was clearly concerned about something. With alarm, he started rushing toward something. His eyes were focused on the ground in an open grassy area so I was never concerned for a moment that there was an intruder or anything like that. I followed his gaze to the ground which is when I saw this large shadow scurrying across the grass. I would recognize that eight-legged trot if I were blind-folded in a dark room–it was totally a spider.

    No, wait. It wasn’t “a spider”.

    IT WAS THE WORLD’S LARGEST 8-LEGGED CREATURE THAT I HAD EVER SET MY EYES UPON.

    It was a mammoth. And my conversation with Joe came flooding back to my mind as I realized I was face-to-face with a tarantula.

    Well…when I say “face-to-face,” I mean from 50 feet away. But do you realize how BIG a spider would have to be for me to see it in the DARK from 50 feet away? So though we were 50 feet away, I was practically face-to-face with him. And it was positively the most disgusting face I have ever seen.

    I bet you want to know what happens next, don’t you? Well the security guard takes the stock of his gun, lifts it high above his head, and starts slamming it against the monster over and over and over again until he was satisfied that it was dead. I was laughing and cringing with every blow. He then scooped it onto the barrel of the gun and again, from 50 feet away in the dark I could see the silhouette of its EIGHT, GIANT, FURRY, THICK legs dangling over his gun as he carried it off the property.

    Whelp, I suppose it’s time to play another round of, “It could be a lot worse…” 

    * “Miserable” is defined as: “We are loving our time here in the Dominican Republic, but are hating the mosquitoes that pervade every aspect of our lives!” But it was much more satisfying and took up a lot less space to just write, “miserable.” 🙂