Well, for those of you who have been beating down my door, shouting at me from your rooftops, emailing me daily wondering why I haven’t been blogging*…I want you to know that I’m right here.
And I want you to know that my lack of blogging simply isn’t my fault. There are probably a lot of things that ARE my fault, but this isn’t one of them.
Unfortunately, I was without a computer for almost four months.
(Fact: No computer=very difficult to blog.)
Fortunately, our insurance money for said stolen computer finally came through and we got me a computer at the end of January.
(Fact: New computer=first step in being able to blog effectively.)
Unfortunately, we didn’t have working internet.
(Fact: No internet=very difficult to blog.)
Fortunately, after a little money, a lot of time, and an untraceable amount of tears trying to get our internet working, our neighbor gave us the password to use hers.
(Fact: Working internet=second step in being able to blog effectively.)
Unfortunately, every computer and electronic device from here to Timbuktu works perfectly with our neighbor’s internet…except my brand new computer.
(Fact: 5 months worth of computer and internet drama=one very defeated Mexican Mama blogger.)
So, hello, world. Here I am. With internet that works V-E-R-Y sporadically and V-E-R-Y slowly waiting to thwart me once again, with about a dozen blogs written into word documents waiting to be copied and pasted into new posts, with hundreds of pictures of my beautiful children waiting to be revealed to the world, and with a cup of decaf, tepid Joe waiting to recharge me as I attempt to catch up.
New blog posts…coming soon!
*Actually, no one’s even noticed that I haven’t been blogging except my 98 year old grandma** who lives to read my blog posts. After her health has showed a very steady decline since my last post 2 months ago, I realized I had better explain myself.
**Actually, I don’t have a grandma. But I was hoping that Murphy*** would read that, feel sorry for me, change his little law and leave me alone.
***Actually, I’m trying to renounce my belief in Murphy’s Law because my husband tells me I’m ridiculous. But I’m telling him, “You can’t argue with the facts.” Well, here’s to you, Murphy, and all your little blog-thwarting tricks!!!
Ahh, Christmastime… does it get more wonderful than twinkle lights, the smell of pine trees, buying special gifts for the ones you love, singing carols and coming up with creative ways to acknowledge the birthday of our Savior? Christmastime…simply the best!
We decided not to travel for Christmas, and although it was a tough decision knowing we wouldn’t see our Tacoma & Colorado friends and family, we were so grateful for the low-key holiday. We spent all of Christmas Eve in our pajamas and ventured out to San Diego for the day on the 25th.
Last Christmas we were traveling among three different countries and two different states, in preparation to pack up everything and move to Mexico. Christmas was about as simple as it gets…we got Elliott two new board books and that was it. For his 1st birthday we kept it simple as well, as we built a home for a family in need instead of buying him lots of presents. SO…needless to say, I couldn’t WAIT for Christmas this year. Giving gifts is for sure one of my love languages, and I just couldn’t wait to pick out so many fun things for our Elliott!! His big gift was a train set with wooden tracks. We also came across a little bike at Costco and just couldn’t resist. I’m pretty sure we jumped the gun on that one as his feet don’t reach the peddles yet 🙂 but Brian especially was so excited to get our son his very first bike!
Christmas Eve eve:
We put the kiddos in bed, wrapped presents, and assembled the bike!
“The Bike”…plus Elliott’s (other) big gift and Selah’s “big gift”Elliott’s been able to pick out the letter “E” for a while now, so we had him find his presents by finding the letter E. I also, of course, drew his favorite object next to his name on each package…it may look like a circle to the common eye, but Elliott and I both know that is A BALL…
Christmas Eve:
We decided to swap our days and really do Christmas on Christmas Eve.
Britght-eyed Selah was the first one up that morning, and what JOY to wake up to this shining face!!
Little buddy then came down the stairs, knowing there was a big surprise for him…
After he had had enough of the bike 🙂 he moved on to the next present… Brian had so much fun setting up the tracks for Elliott so they were just right…
At first all Elliott really wanted to play with was the styrofoam packaging that the train set came in…But then he started to catch some vision for playing with the actual toy…“choo-choo!”I can’t get enough of this little face!!!Or this little face!!My favorite gift this year.Elliott helped Selah open her “big” gift…this super cool owl toy! He was so thrilled to open her presents and then give them to her each time. Selah, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as impressed with the owl as we were :).
(Disclaimer: I am interrupting this Christmas Eve/Day blog to take you into the future. The following couple of presents were opened several days later because we spread out his present opening…but nonetheless, part of our Christmas celebration!)
A new puzzle because he’s mastered ALL of his other ones…We finally got him to try on MY favorite present for him… a backpack!Complete with his favorite–all kinds of balls–and his name!
Okay, back to Christmas Eve. Elliott also helped me open my present…something that I have been asking for for THREE YEARS. Reminding Santa on a (VERY) regular basis that I would L-O-V-E to have a warm, hooded fleece over the last 36 months finally paid off this Christmas… 🙂 Elliott tore open the wrapping paper with me and promptly put my long-awaited gift on himself.
“Hmm, Dad, do you think Mommy would mind if I borrowed her new jacket from time to time?”“It’s just that it fits me PERFECTLY!!”
Like Mother, like Son.
“And what did Brian get?” you wonder. Well, every year he only wants one thing–a new pair of boots. So those arrived a few weeks ago and he’s been wearing them daily. Of course I had to get him something special, too. So, I thought long and hard and decided to get him…drum roll please…a new pair of nail clippers! Because my husband loveshimself a good nail clippin’!!
“Nail clippers?” you ask.
No, not just any nail clippers…I got him these nail clippers.
“You spent $13.25 on nail clippers?” you marvel. Yes, my friends. I did. Because these nail clippers have “Brian Moberg” written all over them. They have been reviewed byover 200 people, they are lifetime guaranteed, and they are high quality. Talk about a good value! Yes, these are a few of his favorite things!!
Still not convinced? Check out an excerpt of this passionate review, and I’m sure you’ll be buying yourself a pair in no time:
“First off, it’s stainless steel, not chrome plated … no flakes of chrome getting imbedded under your fingernails … no rusting after a few days in damp shower kit. Second, the construction is sturdy and substantial, not flimsy. Third, the cutting edge is masterful, delivering a clean, smooth cut every time … a cut accompanied by a satisfying CLICK!! that tells you it’s cut cleanly through the nail. Forth, the mechanism is designed to work smoothly with no ill fitting, loose or wobbly parts. It’s simply the best fingernail clipper I’ve EVER used and I can highly recommend it.”
Sold. And be honest…you are, too.
When Elliott went down for his nap, Brian and I whipped up a big yet simple Turkey dinner, complete with my mom’s amazing sausage stuffing, mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. I don’t know what we did that was just SO RIGHT, but it was INCREDIBLE. So yummy!!
Christmas Eve dinner, train set and all.
So, we choo-chooed, slept, ate, and clipped the day away….and successfully spent the entire day in our jammies. We held our own little church service in the playroom that evening, and Elliott acted out the story of Jesus being born with his nativity set as Brian read it aloud from both Elliott’s bible and his bible. Precious moments with our family…
Christmas Eve pj picture, 2012
Christmas Day:
We got ourselves up and out of the house and headed to San Diego for brunch. Talk about blessing my ever-living soul…mmmm, Christmas BRUNCH!!
We got to the restaurant a bit early so we let Elliott take the car for a spin, and then we all walked around beautiful San Diego exploring.
“Don’t worry, Dad…I’ll mind the speed limit.”Elliott’s practicing walking with his eyes closed. What a talented kid!!Family self-portrait…oops, where are the kids?!There they are 🙂
Brunch was FANTASTIC. I packed my diaper bag with a new puzzle for Elliott to open to keep him happy long enough to stuff my face full of plenty of food to last me all winter. Surprisingly, Elliott was perfectly content stuffing his face for a long time, too. And since he was free, we definitely got our money’s worth :).
We forgot to put Selah’s headband back on after it fell off, and she was mistaken for a boy shortly after this picture. Really though? A red pea coat, snowflake pants and feminine buckle-shoe socks…and you think she’s a boy?? *sigh* Sorry, Selah.
We spent some time playing at a park in San Diego that afternoon and headed home early evening. It’s hard to see, but Selah’s shirt says, “Mommy’s Little Joy.”
Look at the sunset shining through our windows in the background!!Truly, truly…my little joy.
And, finally, what better way to end a Christmas post than with adorable pictures of our babies…
Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get a good picture of a 21 month old and a 2 month old?You may think that Christmas ornament is simply a cute prop, but really–it’s a full-on BRIBE to get Elliott to sit with his sister and smile. Biggest treat EVER for little buddy to get to hold one of the coveted “Christmas balls” that have been off-limits all month…ONE of them always looks great…Well, except in this one. “He who smelt it, dealt it!”My favorite. You can only see 3/4 of Elliott’s face and Selah’s not giving us her usual huge grin…but still, I think it’s perfect. I love my Christmasy babies!Our family’s most wonderful Christmas gift!
I’m not sure how we ended up with the two most wonderful children in the world, but I’m certainly not complaining!!!!
Selah is such a doll…ahhh, it’s so hard for me to communicate the fullness of her wonderfulness in words. I take so many pictures of her every day, just somehow trying to record how much I love her, how beautiful she is, how she makes me feel in those moments that she smiles at me from the depths of her soul…I find myself wishing someone could follow us around all day…videoing and photographing every precious moment with our baby girl.
She is a CHATTER. Oh my word, this princess LOVES TO CHAT (she must get that from her Daddy, right?…HA!) And so, of course, we’ve started what I believe will be a lifelong habit…our mommy-daughter chats! Oh, they are my FAVORITE moments of the day…chatting away with my daughter. I love her voice.
Every since I heard Selah’s very first few cries, I have said, “I love her cry!!” It is just adorable…she lets out a cry, and ends it with a big gulp of air that comes out like a squeak. It is so stinking cute. And this month she has started talking…she “coos” and she “ahhs” at us and her voice is so heavenly. Whether it’s crying or chatting, I just love her voice. I believe she is going to have a voice on this earth…a voice declaring the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord. A voice that brings peace. A voice that brings calm. A voice that transforms hearts through the love of Christ. Oh, sweet Selah…may your voice be loud, and never quenched!
Well, back to the fact that my baby is TWO MONTHS OLD!!!
Words that describe my baby in the last month? Radiant smiler, sweet chatterbox, tummy-time player, bumbo master…conqueror of the 45 minute intruder(well, most days…). Oh yes, and rejector of the bottle.
Selah won’t take a bottle. We tried for the first time when she was a couple of weeks old and I had to go to San Diego for an appointment and couldn’t bring her with me. Brian barely got an ounce or so in her through *lots* of tears. We didn’t really think to try again until she was about 6 weeks old, and wow…I think we were about 6 weeks too late. We tried really hard for a few days to do one feeding a day with the bottle, but goodness gracious… baby girl is NOT a fan. We’re going to try again once we’re not so focused on sleep training… It honestly just never occurred to me to “train” her to take a bottle because Elliott always took a bottle so well. But we also HAD to give him a bottle at 3 days old because we had to make sure he was getting enough milk. So he had plenty of practice right from the start… But, I will be honest, it is slightly daunting thinking about not being able to leave Selah for longer than a few hours at a time for the ENTIRE NEXT YEAR… Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m eager to be away from my baby, but it isa value of our family to free me up every once in a while to be away from the kiddos for longer than 3 hours. Any-whoo………
Alright, without further adieu, here she is! Our beautiful, bright-eyed 2 month old Selah…!!
6 weeks old, and bundled up in a wrap on my chest.Our smiling chatterbox. As SOON as Selah sees one of our faces, she lights up…this is us, smiling and chatting each other during one of our Mommy/Daughter chats…Okay, is this a “Susanne face,” or WHAT?! Does anyone else see it, or is it just me??Our beauty.
Selah’s first Thanksgiving!
Who would have thought that our first two children’s first two Thanksgivings would be in the Dominican Republic and Mexico?! Last year, Elliott’s first Thanksgiving, it was so hot in the D.R. that we all went swimming. This year, although it wasn’t quite hot enough to go swimming, it was certainly warm enough for Selah to wear a dress!
So happy to be celebrating her first Thanksgiving!!Tummy time
Taking a little tummy time rest“Wait a minute, why am I the only one who didn’t get a piece of pie??”Waking up from a nice, long, Thanksgiving slumber…“What is this large squishy blue thing under my bumble, Elliott?”“You’ll get used to it, Selah. Here, do you want me to show you how it’s done like a pro?”
“Just like this! See, it’s not so bad…”Grandma and Grandpa came to visit for Thanksgiving!
I love this next picture…we were trying to take a family photo of the 4 of us, but Elliott refused unless Rayel was in it with us. What were we thinking?! Of course our Thanksgiving family photo would have to include Rayel as she is totally part of our family!!
Our little family 🙂
More bumbo shots…because aren’t they so cute?!
“Bet you can’t find my neck!”“Peek-a-boo! HERE it is!!”
“Okay, but seriously…why am I the only one in this family who has to sit on a squishy blue chair?”
Play mat time!
At this age, Elliott loved the mirror at the top of this play mat. He would stare at it and smile and laugh! Selah is much more into the monkey than the mirror. She will stare at that monkey for long periods of time, smiling and cooing at him :).
The only thing better than play mat time is play mat time with Elliott!I LOVE her sweet face……and THOSE EYES!
Funny faces!
Pouty face!I think Selah looks SO MUCH like her cousin Fable in this picture!!Those lips!!Her pooping face…A content pout…“It wasn’t me!”Trying to show the monkey who’s boss…
1 Month Old
8 weeks old…and probably the closest pic we have that captures her REAL huge smile…I love this photo that I snapped on my phone!
Brian and I tried to get a “perfect” picture of her gorgeous smile, so we took a lot of pictures on her 1 month birthday. Although we didn’t get any great ones of her HUGE grin, I do think these pictures capture the beauty and delight of our baby girl very well…I couldn’t cut them down any more 🙂 so here are SEVERAL pictures of our sweet Selah…one month old!
Can you see how her smile radiates even through her eyes??
Happy, 1 month birthday, our sweet delight!! Your beauty overwhelms us, your voice captivates us, your smile touches us in the deepest places of our hearts…we ADORE you…!!!!!
Thought Elliott’s locks were adorable, he was starting to look like a wild child. So we ventured into San Diego to make his very first hair cut a fun event. The coolest part was, Grandpa and Nonna arrived for a week long visit at the EXACT right time and got to be there!
Before…“WOW! Mom and Dad told me that I was old enough to get my hair cut, but I thought I had to wait until I was 16 to drive a car!”“Um, excuse me? Do you REALLY know what you’re doing?”“Hmm…I’d better keep my eye on you, lady.”
“Okay, seriously…WHAT are you DOING??”“Why don’t I just give you a few pointers.”“See?! What did I tell you? Now you’re making progress! I’m looking good!”“Dad, can YOU believe how good my hair is looking?!”‘If you’re going to brush me off, do you HAVE to use a bright pink one?? You’re cramping my style!”AFTER!My handsome boys.
Selah Bethany(Selah B, Selah Love, Little S, Selah Insert-random-middle-name-here-like-Daddy-does…) is one month old!
You hear every parent say it, but I don’t know how to communicate the sentiment in a less cliche way…
She is growing up SO. INCREDIBLY. FAST.
I don’t remember feeling quite this sad about growth acceleration with Elliott. Maybe because he was our first and I was so excited for him to be able to talk to us and walk and laugh and I just couldn’t wait to see it all develop….but with Selah it has been so different. I wish she would stay this tiny forever…I wish she would do the “newborn stretch” forever, where her back arches and her little frog legs cross and tuck right beneath her bumble while her clenched fists stretch above her head…I wish she would make her little newborn sounds and snorts and squeaks forever…I wish she could snuggle up on my chest and fall asleep curled up in a little ball forever…ahhh, these first few weeks are so, so sweet…
Here are a few facts and a lotta pictures to help you get to know our sweet little Selah from afar…
She is CHUBBY! And for that, we are so grateful! (Only when referring to babies is the word “chubby” actually a compliment!) She looks so much like me when I was a baby, and I certainly had rolls :). And I love her chub…I love her thighs, her arms, her tummy. Selah weighed in at a healthy 10 lbs 5 oz on her one month birthday, and we are certainly proud of every ounce she gained. She is still eating every 2 hours, but only nurses 4 minutes per side…a pretty efficient nurser, wouldn’t you say?? How different than my little buddy, who nursed for ONE HOUR every two hours until he was 6 weeks old! This makes life a lot easier because nursing isn’t nearly the ordeal that it was when I was nursing Elliott.
She is a SQUEAKER!! She doesn’t just cry, she squeaks. She makes more noises than any newborn I know…they are so sweet, and so loud! And she definitely lets us know when she needs something…she’s for sure a…how should I put this? A verbal processor :).
She LOVES to have her diaper changed! I don’t think she has ever cried through a diaper change! In fact, it calms her down…she LOVES being clean. Which is REALLY FORTUNATE because…
She is a POOPER. Okay, I know this may sound obvious, but oh no–I guarantee you’ve never met a baby who poops like Selah poops. She has projectile poop. Seriously. We have each had poop sprayed all over us while changing her diaper. But then one day, Brian went upstairs to change her diaper and I heard him say in his usual understated tone, “Whoa.” And then a few seconds later, “WHOA.” And then a few seconds later, “Whoa…WHOA.” Since he sounded so calm, I didn’t think much of it…I just thought it was a really, really full diaper. But I asked if everything was okay and he responded–again, in his super-understated manner, “Selah pooped everywhere.” Well, it turns out, he wasn’t kidding.
What the changing pad & cover looked like post projectile poop……aaaaand what the FLOOR looked like post projectile poop…can you believe all of that poop projected out of a 2 week old baby???
She is a SMILER. Whether she’s awake or asleep, she’s smiling! I know a lot of people say it’s gas at this age, but I’m telling you–Selah responds to us and smiles at us all the time. She smiles every time she falls asleep (yes, I know that’s just a newborn twitch thing) but also, she smiles at us when we get real close to her and smile and goo-goo talk away… I even got her awake and smiling on camera at just 7 days old.
Sleeping and smiling…5 days old.Awake and smiling…7 days old!
She is BEAUTIFUL. It overwhelms me every day. She is just perfect…I love, love, LOVE that she gets to hear how beautiful she is every day. (Because yes, I believe it is SO important for little girls to grow up knowing they’re beautiful! And smart, and capable, and compassionate, and, and, and…but also that they’re beautiful. But that’s an entire other blog post :).)
Here is the progression of our sweet little love over her first month of life. I don’t have pictures from every day, but some days I couldn’t narrow it down to just one so there are a few to make up for the days that I missed :).
Her Birthday
2 days old
3 days old
4 days old
5 days old
6 days old
First time wearing a dress and a bow!That’s better 🙂
7 days old
8 days old
9 days old
10 days old
She’s a couple ounces bigger than her birth weight here, but you get the idea 🙂
11 days old
12 days old
13 days old
Dressed up for the Harvest Party…Daddy’s Little Princess and Daddy’s Little Builder 🙂
14 days old
15 days old
22 days old
First trip to the Rosarito Beach
23 days old
25 days old
Oops. Mommy fail.
28 days old–ONE MONTH OLD!!
1 month old, laying on her special handmade blanket from Nonna
We celebrated her one month birthday with…chocolate chip cookies! Grandpa and Nonna were here for the milestone, so we all gobbled down cookies in honor of this little pumpkin head. Poor Elliott missed the celebrations because he was already in bed. Don’t worry, I ate a cookie or two for him :).
Okay, time for a little compare/contrast of siblings… I really don’t think Selah looks anything like Elliott did or does, but people say you can tell they are siblings. I can’t really, but that’s okay :). Selah looks so much like me as a baby and Elliott looked SO MUCH like Brian as a baby. Anyhow, you can judge for yourself…
Selah Bethany, you are the perfect addition to our family. WE ADORE YOU…though you are sweet as can be, we can tell that you have some spunk to you, too! You are not afraid to speak up and let us know exactly what you want. You are simply STUNNING, and you have the most beautiful smile that shows itself every time we come near… Please stay tiny forever while simultaneously blossoming into the radiant little girl that God has created you to be! We love you…happy 1 month birthday!!!
It’s amazing how when something goes right, you realize how wrong it was before. In retrospect, I have even more confidence that the c-section was exactly the right call with Elliott. I know it may sound crazy, but despite the facts, there was always this teeny, tiny lingering thought in the back of my head wondering if the c-section was absolutely necessary. After Selah’s birth, that thought is totally gone. I had contractions. I dilated (eventually). Her heart rate stayed strong. I pushed. She came out.
I also have to laugh a little (mostly at myself) for all of the research and reading that goes into creating the “perfect” birth experience. “That” experience is just so far out of our control. I have to laugh at all the people who say there is a “right” way, and “anyone” can accomplish that way… When things are in the right places and going right, you’ll probably have a successful vaginal labor and delivery. When they’re not in the right place, you might end up in a c-section. I strongly believe in the expert help of a doula and/or midwife to help with positioning, etc., assuming that there are no complications big enough to keep the baby from being birthed naturally. But this whole delivery experience (and the ease of it) has really made me calm down a bit. Why did I push for 30 minutes and I’ve had friends push for hours and hours? Not because I read a book on pushing! Because…because…? Because we’ll never know. Because labor and delivery is OUT OF OUR CONTROL… And…IN HIS…
Now, back to Selah B and her birth day! I got to hold my daughter for the first entire hour of her life. How precious, how special. Such a gift. Just after noon, I handed her off to Daddy, who finally got to hold his little princess.
So proud.The first kiss of many, many, many more to come…
I remember the nurse asking us how big we thought she was, and realizing that I hadn’t even thought about the fact that we didn’t know her stats yet. I remember having no idea how big she was. I had been so scared of giving birth to a HUMONGOUS baby because a) I had gained AN ENORMOUS amount of weight with this pregnancy (way more than with Elliott) and b) I had had two friends recently give birth to 9+ and 10+ pound babies in September. I think I guessed 9 lbs, assuming she’d be bigger than Elliott because she was my second and also because I figured hot dogs & mac & cheese probably make for chubby babies, right?
But she wasn’t 9 lbs at all…8 lbs, 2.9 ounces to be exact!
The nurse measured her at 20 1/4 inches. Although, here’s a little secret fact for you. At her initial doctor’s appointment when she was 4 days old, she very clearly measured at 21 inches. SO, either the nurse measured her wrong originally, or our baby girl grew 3/4 of an inch in 4 days. You can decide for yourself what you think Selah’s REAL length was :).
Tiny feet3/4 of the Moberg Family
Before Selah was born, I made a banner for her and hung it over her waiting bassinet as a sort of declaration of faith. It said, “Welcome Home, Selah!” But in the exclamation mark at the end, it said, “We did it!” And although I didn’t know exactly what the “it” was going to look like, I knew the Lord was going to bring us through. I looked at and thought of that banner MANY times during the last few weeks of pregnancy and during my labor, as a reminder that yes, I would soon be bringing my baby girl home…that yes, I could do this…that yes, we would soon pass this test of faith…that yes, we would soon be on the other side of this pregnancy, of this labor, of this delivery.
Note #1: Because my firstborn, my sweet baby Elliott, was born via c-section, we had to make a choice about the type of birth we wanted to have with our daughter. A VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) has its risks because it is possible (though unlikely with the type of incision I had with my cesarean) that the uterus could erupt during labor. However, having multiple c-sections has its disadvantages as well. We spent *a lot* of time praying, reading, researching, talking to doctors, midwives, and others, and finally decided that we wanted to go for the VBAC. However, we fully trusted the Lord for the outcome…trusting that He would make it clear to us every step of the labor if we were to keep moving forward with trying for a VBAC or if we should stop and have a c-section. My doctor said she wasn’t comfortable letting me go past 41 ½ weeks, so we had a c-section date scheduled for October 8 at 2:00pm with a check-in time of noon. If I didn’t go into labor before then, then our answer would be clear…
Note #2: One of the things that was difficult about my first labor/delivery experience is that I had so much trouble REMEMBERING most of those initial moments that Elliott was born. I am so grateful for the pictures that Brian and our doula took because I have no memory of the first few minutes that I got to hold him and nurse him. It had been a long, very hard week leading up to his birth and then a fairly traumatic rush into the emergency c-section. Anyhow, when I went to write out Selah’s birth story, the words that kept coming to mind were, “I remember…”…becauseI did. I am so grateful for the many gifts the Lord gave me in this labor and delivery, one of them being THE MEMORIES.
The Day That Selah Came
(And the days leading up to it…)
My due date came and went, and I was desperately trying to send my body into real labor. I remember one particular day, being super determined to get contractions going. I took Elliott outside to play soccer and every time he kicked the ball past me down the street I would run down the hill as fast I could to stop it.
And he thinks HE needs water!
At one point we walked to the bottom of the hill because he wanted to see the dogs, but then he got tired and wanted me to carry him back up the hill. I gladly scooped him up and made the hike! I got home and did 5 sets of stairs (my goal was 10, but that didn’t happen!). That night I attempted jumping jacks. And although I only made it through about 3 of them, I was laughing so hard at myself that I thought my snorting laughter alone might send me into labor! But it didn’t. And I was WIPED the next day from all of my labor-inducing tricks.
So, we went to the beach. And I laid down while Grandma & Grandpa Moberg played with Elliott. I was too tired to try and force my body into labor.
My vantage point on beach day. Can you see Grandma & Grandpa with Elliott over my HUMONGOUS baby belly?
Saturday, 10.6.12. I told Brian I needed a change of scenery. You can only walk around the block so many times when you are DAYS AND DAYS overdue before you start to go a bit crazy. I was officially one week overdue at this point, and the deadline of noon on October 8 was creeping up quickly… We all decided to go to San Diego for the day, run a few errands, find a fun park for Elliott to play in, and go to dinner with some family friends who happened to be in town. Little did I know that after having dinner with these same friends, Brian’s brother & sister-in-law went into labor the next day with their first…dun, dun, dun….
Little Buddy (soon to be BIG buddy!) loved the new park!Big Brother Elliott and me, one week overdue.
I got home that night and a friend asked how I was doing, knowing that my labor deadline was approaching so quickly. And I remember relaying to her the revelation that I had recently gained conviction for in my spirit: “You know, the Lord is so in control. He EASILY could have sent me into labor by now…” In the previous 24 hours, I had had such a peace come over me that the deadline set by man could not hinder the Lord’s plan for our lives. If He wanted me to attempt a VBAC, He would make it happen. If He didn’t, He would keep my body from going into labor.
So when I woke up with contractions around midnight, I remember encouraging myself (because yes, I often encourage myself!), “See…you knew He was in control…”
Labor begins…and I remember…
I remember thinking, “I can’t do this.” A lot of times. Like when we headed across the border at 5 am and I was throwing up in the car while having back labor contractions. And then Brian stopped for gas :). Like when we got across the border and daylight hit and my contractions stopped, just like they had done with Elliott. Like when I called the doctor on call to talk to her about what to do, not knowing how long I was allowed to “labor,” and she snapped at me, telling me 20 minutes between contractions is not real labor. Like when my contractions picked back up that afternoon, with heavy, intense back labor, and were 3 minutes apart for a minute long and I knew these were only the beginning stages of labor and I could barely handle it. Like when we decided to head to the hospital and I was on all fours, throwing up into a bucket, sweating from every pore of my body, feeling like someone was wringing out my gut from the inside out and scraping the nerves of my lumbar and sacrum with a scalpel.
But let’s back up a minute…
Midnight, 10.7.12. I remember waking up with contractions that continued steadily, every 5-8 minutes. Finally, around 3 am, I remember gently shaking Brian awake with a, “Happy Birthday, my love…guess what? I’m having regular contractions! Do you think we should head to San Diego?”
I remember packing up and trying to keep down an egg sandwich despite the nausea attempting to push it back up. I remember the moment the nausea won. And I remember collecting barf bags to bring in the car with us.
6 a.m. I remember arriving at the YWAM Hospitality house in San Diego, eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes, and laying down to rest for a bit because the contractions had almost entirely stopped…
Noonish. I remember being “that pregnant woman” walking through the Bonita Mall, trying to get my contractions going again but so badly wanting to celebrate Brian’s birthday…and I remember him saying over and over, “This is the exact way I want to celebrate my birthday…preparing for our baby girl to arrive!” And I remember realizing, once again, that I married the most incredible man on earth.
Happy Birthday, Baby Daddy!
Now, back to the “I can’t do this…”
3 p.m. ish. I remember laying down to try to rest when my contractions and the scalpel-scraping back labor all came back with a vengeance. I remember pushing against the wall with each contraction–the only position that was remotely “comfortable.” I remember finally getting down on all fours, head in a bucket, and trying to drown out the “I can’t do this’s” in my head by saying out loud over and over, “You can do this, Sus…you can do this…” After an hour of this, 3 minutes apart, we decided to head to the hospital.
I remember crying most of the way to the hospital. Not “I’m-in-so-much-pain” crying (even though I was!!), but “totally-overwhelmed-with-the-(amazing)-reality-that-this-was-actually-happening” crying. I called the hospital between contractions to tell them I was coming in. The first woman I talked to was sooo nice to me (God bless good ol’ fashioned NICE PEOPLE!!) and was sooo excited for me. “Oh, you are?!” the stranger exclaimed (as if she were my best friend) upon hearing the news that we were coming in. “Let me connect you to triage. Do you know what you’re having?!”
“It’s a GIRL!!!!” I sobbed as the dam holding together my composure came crashing down with a flood of tears…almost as a proclamation from my spirit that she was finally coming…Yes, she was coming!! We still didn’t know how, but we knew she was coming…now. Months and months of overcoming my fear of what could happen during this labor were coming to an end…now. Months and months of building up my faith, of learning how to trust the Lord in a whole new way…and now, now! Now the muscles of faith that I had been building for those months would get to participate in Game Day. Now…
“Oh, congratulations!!!”
“THANK YOU!!!” I sobbed back, and would have thrown myself into a big bear hug in her arms had she been standing in front of me.
She put me on hold and I just cried and cried…the lady picked up from triage: “May I help you?”
I quit trying to hide the fact that I was a blubbering mess, and I unashamedly cried like a baby into my cell phone. “Hi! I-I’m (sob) in (sob) labor and I-I’m (sob) coming in to the (sob) hospital!”
“Yay!! Congratulations! We’ll see you when you get here!”
“Okay!!!” I sputtered back through my stream of tears.
I remember being so overwhelmed. So grateful my contractions had stayed at 3-4 minutes apart for the last hour and half…so grateful that SOMETHING was going to happen.
I remember being checked into triage. I remember the nurse telling me that I needed to cleanse, pee a little bit in the toilet, and then pee in a cup. I remember looking at her like she had just asked me to do a handstand…was she cuh-RAZY? It’s hard enough to pee in a cup when your 10+ months pregnant, but to do it while having horrific back labor and to pee a little, stop, and then get the rest in a cup?! Okay…moving on…
5pm. I remember finally getting to the bed where they checked me. I remember the nurse checking me and telling me I was… (drum roll please…)
…at a 1 and a ½.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I remember thinking. A 1 and a ½???
I remember her saying, “Well, but your contractions are so intense and so close together (every 2 minutes) that I can’t imagine they’ll send you home…I’m sure they’ll admit you. You’re about 80% effaced.”
I remember being so grateful for that, thinking back to my labor with Elliott. (“Just please, please don’t send me home!!”) I remember them taking me off the c-section schedule for the next day, because even if I were to end up with a cesarean, I didn’t need that scheduled appointment anymore.
5:59 p.m. I remember meeting the doctor on call, and not being a big fan. And why had it taken her an hour to get there?? But she admitted me, and advised me not to get an epidural (which I was very adamant about making sure everyone I came into contact with knew that I was very eager to get started) until I was at least at a 4. I remember thinking that would be hard, but it was a good goal.
6:45 p.m. They finally got us upstairs to the delivery room.
7:05 p.m. I remember my sweetest little Elliott, who got to come up to visit. I remember having a contraction while he was there, and desperately trying to smile through it for him. I remember him seeing the yellow exercise ball in the room and shouting, “Boh!!” and I remember just wanting him to laugh and run and play with it, filling the room with innocence… I remember that he wanted to sit on my lap and he kept pointing at all the “bracelets” I had on my wrist. And I remember that it was one of those moments where you are so glad he doesn’t understand that the red one is in case I need a blood transfusion and the IV in my arm is in case I have to be rushed into surgery…and his naivete brought a sort of refreshing calm to my spirit…it wasn’t his job to worry about anything other than why I was so blessed with some new “jewelry,” just as it wasn’t my job to worry about anything other than resting (well, ahem, laboring!) in the Lord’s hands. Constantly grateful for the ways my son reminds me that I am my Father’s daughter, His little girl, His baby.
“Wow! Look at all your pretty bracelets, Mommy!”
7:15 p.m. I remember getting iv drugs—Zophran to help with the nausea and some pain medication to help relax my body to hopefully help me dilate and make some progress.
9:27 p.m. I remember the nurse checking me and telling me I was at a 3. And I remember thinking I didn’t want to deal with the back labor any longer. We had decided ahead of time that it would be the best thing for me to get an epidural in case I needed an emergency c-section, and so if I was going to get one anyway, I wasn’t willing to endure the back labor anymore. I remember praying with Brian, and feeling peace about getting the epidural right then, even though I wasn’t at a 4.
9:40 p.m. I remember Dr. K. coming in to give me the epidural. I remember them telling Brian to sit down in a chair in front of me so he couldn’t see the needle, and giving him a mask. I remember the needle going in, and it feeling off-centered…like it was to the left of my spine.
10:55 p.m. I remember the nurse checking me, and relaying the news that I had made no progress. I remember being discouraged (this scenario was all too familiar…), but still at peace. They put the catheter in, and I tried to sleep, knowing they were going to relay the news to the doctor.
11:19 p.m. Dr. R (the OB) came in and checked me. I remember her telling me that I was actually still at a 1 ½. Ha!! How do you dilate backwards?? I remember wanting to ask for someone with smaller fingers to check me again. 🙂 I remember feeling like she thought I was the biggest wimp, and I remember not caring at all. She broke my water, and it was clear. A great sign.
I remember so badly wanting Selah to be born on Brian’s birthday, and realizing that it wasn’t going to happen…
I remember joining hands with my husband and praying boldly for our hearts’ desires…that God would allow us to have a VBAC.
I remember sleeping, and suddenly being woken up with panic. I couldn’t feel my left leg (which felt like it was the size of a tree trunk) at all and the back labor had returned on the right side of my back. I remember panicking…feeling so out of control…wondering how I would get on all fours if her heart rate dropped like Elliott’s had. Wondering if I could do this…feeling so tired of the whole process. I remember my husband taking my hand and I remember praying with him…I remember him boldly declaring truth over me and our sweet Selah, and I remember feeling peace. I remember asking him to get my ipod, in which I had just put on a new playlist of 4 songs specifically about the Lord’s faithfulness, specifically for Selah’s birth. And I put the ipod by my head, and rested beneath the promises of the Lord…
4 a.m. I remember Dr. R. checking me and telling me I was at a 4. Hallelujah. I remember her saying I needed to keep dilating in order for this to keep going…
I remember texting a couple people to pray for dilation breakthrough!
6:55 a.m. I remember them checking me and telling me I was at a 6…that could be stretched to a 7!
7:00 a.m. Doctor’s shift change, praise God. I remember Dr. Huskey coming in, and cheering for me. We had made it this far. I remember being in her office the previous Wednesday and I had been at a 0. We had talked through the c-section protocol. But now, here we were…on c-section day, but I was in labor. I remember being relieved that she was on call, not the other doctor anymore… I remember her saying, gently but firmly, “Okay, I’ll give you as much time as I can–until 10 o’clock—and we’ll check you again. As long as you’ve made progress, we’ll keep going. Now, if you’re still at a 6, we need to talk about a c-section, okay?”
I remember saying, “Okay,” and not being afraid. I remember simply being so confident that the Lord was going to bring Selah into this world in the perfect way…whether it was vaginally or through surgery.
Then, I remember realizing it was time to put my game face on. My Deborah face. It was time to stir up the Mama in me that was created to rise up and fight. There is this balance (that I have been learning about) of relinquishing my plans in the Lord’s hands, trusting Him to bring about the BEST way, but also knowing I was created to fight, to war, to cry out for my heart’s desires. So, I rose up. I began to pray and talk to Selah constantly. I even moved my iPod down towards…how do I say this…”The Exit” (tmi?) so that she would hear the music, singing of God’s faithfulness, and know which way to get out :). I talked her down…I told her which way to go and what to do. I prayed for her. I prayed for me. I remember being so filled with peace, and so filled with a confidence that she was moving…
And then, I remember feeling the urge to take a big poop…that’s what everyone had said it would feel like. I remember being half in and out of sleep/prayer land and feeling that and suddenly, urgently, excitedly, hopefully calling Brian. “I feel like I need to poop!!”
“Okay…” he responded. (Oh, the things my husband puts up with!) 🙂
“That’s what everyone says it feels like when you’re ready to push!”
I asked him to get the nurse, and when she came in I relayed the news with incredible eagerness to her, just like a toddler who’s potty training. “Well, I’m only allowed to check you every 2 hours. So let’s wait until 10…”
9:55 a.m. I remember the nurse coming in just before 10 and saying, “Well should we check you?! I can’t wait any longer to find out if you’ve made progress!” And I remember thinking, “You’re telling me! Check me!!”
And time paused in that moment and a heavy stillness fell in the room as if all of creation was waiting for her answer. And then it came…And I remember…oh, I remember her smiling, and saying…
“You’re at a 10. Her head is right there…you’re ready to push!!”
I had never heard those words before!! And I remember crying and saying, “Really?! Really??? I get to push?!!!”
I remember her saying, “Now don’t push yet. Wait for me to get back in here so I can show you how.” And I remember thinking, “Are you crazy? I have NO idea what I’m doing…I’m not pushing without you!”
I remember other nurses coming in and setting up the room. It was happening. I remember Brian taking notes on his phone. I remember us trying to figure out how to set up the tripod to take pictures. I remember putting one song on repeat and putting the ipod up by my ear. I remember being so at peace…I remember being so confident in our God. I remember the room being a place that was calm…not panicked…and I couldn’t believe this was how birth is supposed to be…
I do remember wondering how I was going to push since I couldn’t even feel my left leg…
10:30 a.m. I remember them getting my legs in the stirrups.
I remember asking for a mirror.
10:33 a.m. I remember the nurse teaching me how to push, and I remember doing a practice push. I remember thinking pushing was going to be so challenging, but I was so eager, ready, and excited to face it. I remember doing the practice push and asking, “Is that it?? Am I doing this right??”
I remember thinking that I would need a lot of help, but I didn’t. At one point, I remember the nurse had to walk out of the room and Brian was trying to get the tripod set up, and I just push, push, pushed on my own…so eager to see my baby girl. I remember thinking that pushing was a lot easier than I had thought it would be, and that was PURELY the grace of God…
I remember smiling the entire time that I pushed. I couldn’t help it…I was pushing!! I was pushing my baby girl out!! This was it!!!! I was filled with an all-consuming peaceful joy…serenity…
Pushing!! And smiling!!
10:43 a.m. I remember seeing the top of her head!!!!!
10:57 a.m. I remember the nurse calling in the doctor and the team…
I remember Dr. Huskey coming in and pushing once for her. Then I remember her saying, “Okay, I want her to come out on this next push, alright? Can you do it?” And I remember saying, “Yes!”
11:07 a.m. And then…oh, and then!! I remember seeing Selah’s perfect head followed by her perfect body come out, and I remember her crying right away…
…And I remember thinking, “We did it!! We DID it!!”
…and I remember watching everyone’s faces and I remember that none of them were panicked…I remember thinking, “It’s all okay…everyone is okay…”
…And I remember them putting Selah on my chest and I remember being absolutely overcome with gratitude…
…I got to hold my baby girl!! I got to hold her right away!! And I remember those first few moments of holding her in my arms….
…There she was, crying on my chest…she was mine…and I was filled with overwhelming gratitude…
…And I remember talking to her and just loving hearing her cry…
I remember telling her that she did such a great job over and over and over again…that she knew exactly what to do and she did it…
I remember holding her on my chest and loving being her mom…loving getting to see her up close right away…loving every minute…
I remember thanking the Lord…over and over and over again…I remember being so, so grateful…I remember somewhere in all that my doctor said, “You tore a little bit…to a 2.” And I remember instantly saying, “That’s okay!!!” What a small price to pay for my sweet baby Selah!! And I remember…I remember it all…
“You have given her her heart’s desire, And have not withheld the request of her lips. Selah!”
Psalm 21:2
Oh, how she isand will be a constant reminder to stop, to pause…to remember the Lord’s faithfulness and to lift up praise to His name!!!
On February 16, when I was about 7 weeks pregnant, I wrote the following in my journal:
“The whisper has been quiet, but in the last 24 hours it has grown louder and louder in my ear. I feel like we’re having a girl, and I feel like her name is Selah…I can’t get it out of my head.”
I had never, ever considered that name before. I don’t know anyone with that name and honestly, we’ve had a different girl name picked out for a while. But I couldn’t shake this incredibly strong feeling in my spirit. I thought it was so beautiful, and I looked up the meaning. I was overcome by the beauty of the meaning as well. The gist of the meaning is to
Stop and listen. Pause to reflect, meditate, and praise. Likened unto, “Amen.”
Then I read this paragraph online (I bolded the parts that stuck out to me):
“Selah” is also thought to be rendered from two Hebrew words: s_lah, “to praise”; ands_lal, “to lift up.” Another commentator believes it comes from salah, “to pause.” From these words comes the belief that “selah” is a musical direction to the singers and/or instrumentalists who performed the Psalms, which was the hymnbook of the Israelites. If this is true, then each time “selah” appears in a psalm, the musicians paused, either to take a breath, or to sing a cappella or let the instruments play alone. Perhaps they were pausing to praise Him about whom the song was speaking, perhaps even lifting their hands in worship. This would encompass all these meanings—praise, lift up, and pause. When we consider the three verses in Habakkuk, we also see how “selah” could mean “to pause and praise.” Even though Habakkuk was not written to be sung, Habakkuk’s prayer in chapter 3 inspires the reader to pause and praise God for His mercy, power, sustaining grace and sufficiency.
Perhaps the best way to think of “selah” is a combination of all these meanings. The Amplified Bible adds “pause and calmly think about that” to each verse where “selah” appears. When we see the word in a psalm or in Habakkuk 3, we should pause to carefully weigh the meaning of what we have just read or heard, lifting up our hearts in praise to God for His great truths. “All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name.” Selah! (Psalm 66:4).
I was hooked. What a beautiful, beautiful thing…that her life would be marked by pausing to praise God for who He is…
So, we found out several months later that we were, indeed, having a girl. We spent some time praying about her character, about who she is, about what marks this perfect child of God, and it was confirmed in both of our spirits almost instantly that Selah was, indeed, our daughter’s name.
Here is what we believe about our daughter:
“Selah” lingers on your tongue, like an aroma. She, herself, is marked by the aroma of Christ….she walks by, and the scent remains. And so, just as the meaning goes: to stop, meditate, and think about that…to lift up and praise the Lord…Selah will leave her aroma everywhere she goes, so as to cause others to stop, remember, and praise the Lord.
And then came time for the middle name. Just as Elliott’s middle name is Brian, we wanted our baby girl to have some part of me passed down in her name. We tried variations of my middle name and although we kind of liked one version, we both just knew it wasn’t quite right for Selah. Then Brian said, “Well I don’t want to just pass down your name, I want to pass down who you are.” So I asked Brian to think about what it was about my character that he most wanted to see passed down in our daughter. After a couple of weeks of pondering, he said, “The thing that I want to pass down to our daughter is the way you so extravagantly love people.”
So! Off we went to find a name that means “one who loves extravagantly.” And you know what we discovered? That there isn’t one! There are a ton of names that mean “love” or “beloved”…but none (that we could find) that means “the act of extravagantly loving others.” So we were stuck.
One day I started thinking about who it is in the bible that exhibits extravagant love. Immediately I thought of Mary of Bethany, who extravagantly showed her love to Jesus perhaps more so than any one else… She sat beside Him when her sister Martha busied herself with tasks. She unashamedly poured out an entire alabaster jar of perfume on the Lord as an offering of her love. She loved him wastefully according to the world, but so extravagantly according to Him that He said about her, “I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Matthew 26:13
Talk about powerful love! That wherever the gospel is preached, her extravagant love will also be shared…wow!!
So, the name “Mary” (although I happen to love that name) didn’t flow very well, so I thought, “Well, what about Bethany?”
As we were contemplating the middle name Bethany, someone close to us asked us if we had ever considered “Bethany” for our daughter’s name. I said, “As a matter of fact, we are thinking about that for a middle name.” We knew that she had aborted a baby many years ago, but that day she relayed to us that in her grief counseling later, she had decided to name that baby Bethany, because “that was the city where Jesus went.”
After hearing that, Brian and I laid in bed one night just crying and crying…lost babies is a topic very, very near to our hearts for many reasons. And honestly, I’m pretty sure that night it was solidified in both our hearts that we would give her that as a middle name. Besides the original reason we were considering it, we wanted to give her this as a middle name in honor of the lost baby, for some tiny bit of redemption for the woman who gave her up and has since wrestled with grief, and as a living declaration that we stand with and will boldly fight for the little ones “who cannot speak up for themselves” (Proverbs 31:8-9).
And so! There, my friends, is the story of our precious daughter’s name…Selah Bethany.
Selah Bethany is one who carries the fragrance of Christ. Who loves others extravagantly like her mother and like Mary of Bethany, who boldly poured out her love upon Jesus through a beautiful aroma. Who carries His fragrance so strongly that she causes others to stop and lift up praise in awe of our great God.
You’re HERE!!!!! Oh, how we LOVE being your mom and dad!!!
Grandma & Grandpa Moberg did an incredible job of taking care of Elliott while we were bringing baby Selah into the world. We couldn’t wait for Elliott to meet his little sister! We had been preparing him for months…when we asked him where baby Selah was, he would point to my tummy. As soon as he walked into the hospital room, he got this huge smile on his face and pointed to her, saying, “Dee!!” (which is kind of his word for a lot of things…) 🙂
“WHOA…How did you get her out of your tummy??”“Somebody walked all over her blanket and left these funny multi-colored footprints!!”The Moberg family of FOUR!!!
Happy birth day, Selah B!!! We have been waiting for you for SO LONG…we are simply OVERJOYED that you are here…welcome to the world, our little baby love!!!
*(To read about how we chose her name and the meaning of it, click here!)
What a JOY for Elliott to have 4 siblings this Summer! For a boy who is SO SOCIAL, he was in absolute Heaven. He admired Judah and Samuel so much, and would just marvel at Ariel’s beauty. How fun for him to have 3 older siblings for a few weeks!!
But as much as he ADORED the older 3, there was something special, something unique about his love for Mookie. Mookie was his bff. They are just one month apart, and they had their own special language. I feel like I got a tiny glimpse at what it would be like to have twins and to watch their special bond…such a joy to watch these sweet friends build their friendship!!
Cruising the Town
On one of the days that Suz and I headed into San Diego, OJ took the big kids to play on go carts and Brian took the babies to have their own racing fun. One thing is for sure–Brian has ensured that Elliott has an appropriate love for Home Depot. This is a regular favorite Daddy-Son pass time–cruisin’ through Home Depot.
“Does this thing have power steering?”Mookie: “So WHAT’S so great about this place again?” Elliott: “We’re in HOME DEPOT, Mooks! It’s the happiest place on earth besides Costco!!”
The Bonding Place
I’m not sure what it is about this bottom step, but it was THE PLACE that they loved to chat.
Telling jokesYeah, we’re cute and we know it.“Hey, Elliott, look at my toes.”“Cool! They look just like MINE!”“Let’s be best friends forever!”
The Office Chair
This was another special place to play and chat. The boys would climb up here together and then would scheme and plot to look as CUTE as possible until someone gave in and gave them rides up and down the hallway.
E: “Who do you think will see us sitting here and get the hint?”E: “I think if you keep being charming like that, that will really help our cause.”M: “We GOT her, Elliott! Your mom said she’s putting down the camera to play with us!!! YIPPEE!!”
The Alphabet Train
A most popular toy with the boys. They usually did a great job of taking turns–one would ride while the other shoved alphabet blocks into the train and visa versa.
M: “You okay back there, Elliott?” E: “Yup! I’ve got this! Don’t worry about me!”
Elliott had never been a “hugger” until the McD kids moved in with us. He’ll give us kiss after kiss all day long, but he’s never been a big snuggler. But his love for his new friends brought out the hugging in him! He would OFTEN run up to the kids and give them big hugs!! He reminds me a lot of “Elf,” who loves to give hugs and snuggle and hold hands and sing Christmas Carols…and this Mama couldn’t be prouder :).
Although Mookie didn’t exactly share Elliott’s hugging affinity, he was always a great sport about it.“Mookie, I just think you’re the greatest.”“Thanks, Elliott. I think you’re pretty great, too!”“I know we’re playing with the Alphabet Train, but can I give you a hug?”“Just…one…little…HUG!”“Okay, Elliott…but I’m just going to keep chewing on this alphabet cube, if that’s alright.”
